Musings From A Medicated And Reluctant Patient

A funny thing happens when you're quarantined.  You are stuck alone with your thoughts which can be a retreat or a personal hell depending how your brain behaves and what combination of drugs you are taking.  After three weeks of trying to fight off a cold/flu I finally surrendered and reluctantly waved the white flag.  I would have kept pushing through but then the virus continued to conquer, settled into my sinus cavities and has decided it would be a neato trick to ooze green, painful discharge from my right eye.  You know it's bad when your unsuspected doctor, who even after years of being professionally groomed to not be offended by body parts, takes a stumble back obviously horrified by the scene and screams, "Oh dear Gawd!  You eye is nasty!"  He delivers a stern lecture about the importance of seeing him earlier, prescribes oral antibiotics for the lung infection, antibiotic eye drops for the facial disfigurement, instructs to bleach all my towels and linens, burn my contact lenses and just wear glasses for a week.  He also emphasizes that I need to wash my hands often and to stay quarantined from people until the discharge stops.  Oh great, Chris who has a bunch of toddlers is going to love hearing that he needs to house an infectious petrie dish.

My friend Laura reminds me that this is the Universe's gentle nudge that I need to slow down.  Normally I would agree but with so many projects on the go, strategizing the company's next move as our lease ends this October, taking on a new line and category to launch for next month, crisis managing a vendor account going sideways and with my team on the mend from sickness and dealing with death this Captain just doesn't have time for bullshit health issues.  I suppose the stress from the hell client was the final nail in the coffin thus putting my immune system on shutdown and me out of commission.

And so I am stuck... in my room... with just my Blackberry and iPad as my only form of entertainment.  Oh wait... and my own thoughts (insert evil dark foreboding music). I was pondering what would have happened like 10 years ago when the Internet was just in its infancy and the power of information wasn't at your fingers tips?  What did I do without waking up to a hilarious George Takei meme before?  Is society actually better with it or ironically did it create more isolation as people spend less time with real people?  I mean ignorance is bliss.  Prior to the Internet if you had a bubble you were pretty much happy within it but now since everyone is more connected, like it or not your bubble will be permeated with global issues that can affect you.  It's hard not to get depressed about corporations that are greedy and will gamble yours and Mother Earth's health in the name of profits.  Or reading that yet another idiot got elected to power and people are still being persecuted for their race, gender, religion and sexual orientation.  This is probably why photos dedicated to cute fuzzy kittens and puppies are well liked on Facebook.

It is said that our children are growing up into a new state of global consciousness because everything they do will leave a global footprint forever on the digital world which means your audience for judging you just got a wee bigger.  This fast pace world will inevitably shape the perception of the children absorbing the information so as parents one has to wonder how much more differently you have to parent in order for them to succeed in this new world order.  Tai is a bright kid.  Without us spending much time schooling him, he has learned how to type in words into You Tube to watch videos so he can master certain levels of Zombies versus Aliens on the iPad.  I was a bright kid too but when I was in kindergarten, I was more concerned with mastering the art of wiping my bum after doing a Number 2.  Kaiya picks up language too easily.  She'll turn three in July but has moments when she spews forth verbal diarrhea like a professional emo teenager.  Chris was using the bathroom the other day and she decided to march in unannounced.  Obviously offended by the lack of privacy, Chris yells at her to get out.  Kaiya sulks back into my room and with two hands on her hips declares, "Gawd... Dad can't even take a joke!" and right on cue dramatically rolls her eyes.  This kid is still wearing pull-ups.

I have two part time staff who I have hand selected for their above average intelligence, beautiful energy and immunity to my sarcastic and often unorthodox form of mentoring.  Rachael is in her early twenties, with tons of sass and spunk (how I like my women) and ready to take on the new world of carving out her career in interior design.  Despite her age she worries about everything.  On top of all the regular things one worries about at that age, she piles on the stresses that usually dominate your mid to later years... like her retirement funds.  Sheesh I don't even stress out about my non existent retirement funds and I have a good decade on her.  Jenn is in her late twenties approaching that thirty mark and the stress she experiences immobilizes her from experiencing life.  She is a total sweetheart and has this bad habit of projecting her positive outlook onto other people's lives but never onto herself.  I wonder if the bombardment of social media and information overload causes one to not perceive opportunities but rather missed benchmarks which then transforms to anxiety and fear?

There is a remote tribe in Africa that celebrates everyday like its their last day because they live in the moment.  If they have a few shillings they will spend it all that day just in case they can't enjoy it tomorrow.  I'm not suggesting everyone forgo their future planning of planting seeds but what I am emphasizing is people need to turn that part of their destructive brain off and enjoy your blessings that you have today.  For the children of today, the parents need to remind them to slow down and appreciate what is actually IN this world.  Some days I fantasize of uprooting my family and moving to a small town or remote exotic locale in the world so my children can appreciate the beauty in Nature, family, and learn to love themselves instead of being hyper critical of what they don't have.  I know I can't remove the Internet but I know I need to parent drastically differently so my kids grow up living life instead of scared of it.

The dual role of the Internet like everything in our life has two sides.  One side can open your eyes to everything you ever wanted.  It can be the inspiration to do more, learn more, and create more regardless of your economic situation.  Somewhere in the Cyber world, no matter how lonely you are you will find a connection.  The other side is like cocaine.  If you don't keep your habit in check, it has the ability to delude you and pervasively create a world where the hell is actually on this world.  Instead of connecting you create an island of isolation.  My brother in law Steve is like Chris in that they are hardcore game addicts and spend a lot of time in their fantasy worlds.  He joked,  " Man the amount of time I dedicate to gaming I could have been an effin' brain surgeon by now!"  We all laugh at the comment, but seriously, Steve is a brilliant man and he actually could and still can be a brain surgeon.