I am feeling rebellious. I am tired of all the responsibilities of adulthood. I despise paying taxes, paying bills, planning for retirement, eating healthy, saving for my children's education, reading all the whack-out politics, seeing people abuse positions of power, convincing a toddler to behave, teaching a pre-schooler the art of manners, encouraging negative people that life is worth living passionately for, carrying the burden of slackers, defending what is mine and bridging the gap of stupid people. I guess you can say I have become a cesspool of bitchiness and I'm really starting to offend even myself. Which is strange... because usually I am my own number one cheerleader and I can amuse myself with my witty monologues for endless hours.
Laura chats with me on Facebook in an attempt to soothe the madness that my life has taken on in the last two years. I appreciate her empathy and on my good nights I do try to "let the moment pass" as she advise but most of the nights I am just steaming mad that my perfectly planned scheme is perfectly chaotic. I guess I really shouldn't be that surprised. I knew this day would come.
When I was younger I wanted to save the whales. I figured a profession as a marine biologist or a veternarian was a good match for my compassion for Nature and all her creatures. Some where in high school a charismatic business teacher inspired me to build an empire and so began my descent into the dark side of capitalism. Even in my tender teens I knew that perhaps this consumeristic economy wasn't sustainable so I tried to justify that I will just "become filthy rich" and give money to the David Suzuki's of the world to buy my soul back. In University I always got the strangest look when I tried to explain to people that I had a joint major in Environmental Studies in the Faculty of Geography and a Marketing degree in Business. It was like trying to explain that you really are a Nun but you just so happened to run a Brothel.
So since I was 16 I have honed my business skills and have taken big box empires to new heights often claiming number 1 in sales and loving every step of my career. 18 years later I am revisiting if I really am on the right path. Everything I thought I had carefully built is slowly dismantling itself. It's almost like it's the Universe's way of telling me this path is no longer available so I need to seek out another route.
I figured the day I become spiritually empty as a person is the day I return to my roots as an Ambassador of a Nature. Life is simplier in this outlook. I define myself by not the income on my tax return but rather by the richness of my relationships. Instead of asking for more, I am appreciating what I have. I would surround myself in peace rather than don another survival suit in a meaningless rat race.
I have been fantasizing about running away to a remote place like Bora Bora. Where the hardest question is to appreciate the sunrise or to appreciate the sunset? Where I deplug from the negativity and coccoon myself in the art of enjoying life. I would like to spend my days reading, writing, creating and contemplating instead of analyzing, strategizing and forecasting. I would like to teach my babies the power of love, laughter and compassion then educate them on the bullies and pedophiles that lurk in our corners. I would rather trade my 3,000 square foot home (valued at almost an obnoxious million dollars) for a treehouse in the rainforest. Running around bare breasted in a loin cloth, singing songs, braiding my hair and eating grubs is appealing more to me right about now.
It is said, when old systems no longer work it will be dismantled so new ones can be created. I think I have finally let go and come to the realization that it's time to step into an Enlightened Period.
Thursday, March 15, 2012
Sunday, December 4, 2011
Adding Value
I can be stubborn... or determined, it's all how your perception allows you to see the world. In my stubborn state I will exert a credible amount of energy to resist doing what you ask. In fact, more energy is spent standing my ground then if I just followed and got whatever task was asked of me over and done with. In my determined state, I am stagnant, mulling over my task and applying the dreaded... Why? My managers, teachers, parents and all authorative figures either learn to answer THE question, otherwise they are met with futile results. The clever ones that understand my need to connect to a bigger picture I have adopted as mentors, whether it be in my personal or professional world. I need value as to why I need to apply an exact amount of energy to accomplish something. Doing something just for the sake of doing it never gets me motivated to do that task at all let alone well.
I think this is where I lost my mojo. My sister and I were debating my usual musings about the Universe, strange vibrations and all that "spiritual" things that I can openly discuss last week. Okay so maybe Stephanie just muses over my rantings and communication is usually a one way street where I do the yakking and Steph just listens. But on this rare night, my baby sister actually gave me an epiphany into my uncomfortable state of being.
One of the coping skills I often use in the navigation of life is I put people I admire on a pedestal, cultivate a relationship with them and bombard them with a bazillion questions as to "why" they did what they did, and "what" would they do differently knowing what they know now. I know, that last sentence was probably vernacularly structured totally convoluted but if you read it slowly and pause to ponder it makes perfect sense. I "studied" their successes which then allowed me to go through my own learning curve pretty much flawlessly if I studied properly. Contrary to what my ego may project, I am a student of great humility and know that I know very little.
Well, I suspect my mojo started to waver when I accomplished many of my goals in 2010 but I never really felt fulfilled? Bizarre when you say it out loud. As a textbook Type A personality I have my life mapped out. As stated above, I don't move on my map unless I have a destination. My map was that I lead a life as a good person and help out wherever I can (my Asian parents would be so proud that I listened to them amongst all the beatings)! I would finish school with high grades and get into a good University with a scholarship. I would obtain a degree. I would get a great job filled with endless opportunities and I make tons of mistakes at the expense of someone's pocketbooks. I would marry my bestfriend who would take care of me and my children better than I would. I would start my own business and apply all my knowledge that I acquired into it and watch it grow. I would start my own family and teach my little ones everything I know and watch them grow. Sounds perfectly solid no? With the exception of the time I broke into the local school to vandalize and got caught in the shower with a boy, my life map had very little speed bumps.
So what the hell happened in 2010? Well remember on September 10, 2011 the Lower Mainland experienced an Earthquake that registered 6.4 on the Richter scale. It didn't cause any damage and for the majority of people they felt nothing. That morning I woke up feeling like shit and when I looked into the mirror to get ready I was shocked to see my own image because it looked like ike the ugly bus hit me. I dragged myself into work and puttered through my ambitious list but was battling what felt like a migraine and hangover. I dismissed the bizarre feelings and around noon reports started coming in about the earthquake. My part-timer and I noted that it was so weird we too didn't feel any movement. Approximately an hour after I heard about the news a woman and her friend came into the store. I approached her and greeted her like every other customer and then blurted out, "Hey, did you ladies feel the earthquake?"
She turned to me, shot this wild look and said, "No, what earthquake are you talking about?" I brought her up to speed on the details and she said, "Well that would explain why I woke up this morning feeling very off." Her words took my breath away because now that she mentioned it, that's how my morning started as well. Out of the blue I randomly asked, "Are you a clairvoyant?" She looks deep into my eyes and answered softly, "Yes I am why do you ask?" That electrical shock that I am starting to notice happens quite often when I am in the zone "of weird shit I can't explain" started shooting through my system. "I'm sorry, I have no idea why I asked you that! You must think that was so weird," I stuttered apologetically.
The kind woman smiled back, "No I don't find it weird at all. You asked because you are one too which I sensed when I entered the store." She goes on and explains that when the Earth goes through events, she can sense the disturbance in the normal vibration that it emits. She explains that all things on Earth are made of energy. So far because it's scientifically based, I am following her explanation. If we are all energy then each form on Earth emits a certain vibration. When the normal frequency is off, those sensitive to it are also thrown off. The analogy is you can't harmoniously hum in tune if someone in your choir sings off-key. It throws off your groove.
She then states, "How many people did you ask about the earthquake since knowing about it?" Ummm... okay that is an odd question but since you are non threatening I'll play ball, "No one, you're the first." "How many people came into the store before you asked me?" Wow... I feel like I am being led into a trap. I swallowed, "About a dozen or so." "Do you find it strange that you asked me and no one else?" "Yes, well now that you phrased it in that context that is strange..." "Well it's not strange. We are suppose to meet. The question is WHY?" She gives me her business card. Her name is Shamira Virji and according to her pretty purple card she offers clairvoyant readings, spiritual coaching and meditation.
Realizing that she might add value, I ask her if she feels that the world seemed off it's kilter? Like maybe it's rotating funny? She takes a deep breath and tells me that the Earth is definitely vibrating differently and it's change in vibration has affected many lives. Hmmmm... I feel a hypothesis formulating here. Shamira can tell I wanted to ask her a million other questions and she politely stops me and tells me to pull her card when I feel more clear about the questions I need to ask. I take the hint and wish her a good day.
I call my friend Laura that night to tell her about my experience in my store. Like Yoda, she tells me not to read too much into things and take them as a blessing. She did confirm that Shamira's theory was very similar to one that was shared at a conference she was at. Apparently there is a consensus that the Earth is vibrating at a different frequency then before with the purpose of dismantling an economy based on unsustainable, excessive consumption. By doing this, Earth can bring us back to our life's purpose. So me eating at McDicks and feeling all glorious in name brands like Coach and Lululemon is not assisting me in my life's purpose? Wow... shocker I know. The creepy thing is that this theory would explain the shitty economy and also how I currently feel.
Now going back to my sister's brilliant observation. Up until last year, I officially had no mentor. Not one. How come? How is it possible that a life coping skill that I have applied as long as I can remembered not be in effect? She points out it's because I have outgrown all of my current ones. Oh... well that's shitty... so I am swimming in the sea of life and I have no wetsuit or even a damn lifejacket? No wonder I feel like I'm drowning.
That's my big epiphany. I did not have to lose everything I love or climbed the sacred mountain in Peru (although it is on my bucket list) or run away into the remote jungle and live off of bugs. I was sitting in the comfort of the home I worked really hard to build, surrounded by the people I worked really hard to keep happy and safe and... drinking. So perhaps the Earth is vibrating us into extinction, and perhaps I am embarking on a new journey that was never mapped in the Book of Huong and perhaps in ten years time this Blog will be documented evidence of the descent into insanity. I am not sure. What I am sure of however is that I need the Why and to get that I need to seek out a new mentor.
I think this is where I lost my mojo. My sister and I were debating my usual musings about the Universe, strange vibrations and all that "spiritual" things that I can openly discuss last week. Okay so maybe Stephanie just muses over my rantings and communication is usually a one way street where I do the yakking and Steph just listens. But on this rare night, my baby sister actually gave me an epiphany into my uncomfortable state of being.
One of the coping skills I often use in the navigation of life is I put people I admire on a pedestal, cultivate a relationship with them and bombard them with a bazillion questions as to "why" they did what they did, and "what" would they do differently knowing what they know now. I know, that last sentence was probably vernacularly structured totally convoluted but if you read it slowly and pause to ponder it makes perfect sense. I "studied" their successes which then allowed me to go through my own learning curve pretty much flawlessly if I studied properly. Contrary to what my ego may project, I am a student of great humility and know that I know very little.
Well, I suspect my mojo started to waver when I accomplished many of my goals in 2010 but I never really felt fulfilled? Bizarre when you say it out loud. As a textbook Type A personality I have my life mapped out. As stated above, I don't move on my map unless I have a destination. My map was that I lead a life as a good person and help out wherever I can (my Asian parents would be so proud that I listened to them amongst all the beatings)! I would finish school with high grades and get into a good University with a scholarship. I would obtain a degree. I would get a great job filled with endless opportunities and I make tons of mistakes at the expense of someone's pocketbooks. I would marry my bestfriend who would take care of me and my children better than I would. I would start my own business and apply all my knowledge that I acquired into it and watch it grow. I would start my own family and teach my little ones everything I know and watch them grow. Sounds perfectly solid no? With the exception of the time I broke into the local school to vandalize and got caught in the shower with a boy, my life map had very little speed bumps.
So what the hell happened in 2010? Well remember on September 10, 2011 the Lower Mainland experienced an Earthquake that registered 6.4 on the Richter scale. It didn't cause any damage and for the majority of people they felt nothing. That morning I woke up feeling like shit and when I looked into the mirror to get ready I was shocked to see my own image because it looked like ike the ugly bus hit me. I dragged myself into work and puttered through my ambitious list but was battling what felt like a migraine and hangover. I dismissed the bizarre feelings and around noon reports started coming in about the earthquake. My part-timer and I noted that it was so weird we too didn't feel any movement. Approximately an hour after I heard about the news a woman and her friend came into the store. I approached her and greeted her like every other customer and then blurted out, "Hey, did you ladies feel the earthquake?"
She turned to me, shot this wild look and said, "No, what earthquake are you talking about?" I brought her up to speed on the details and she said, "Well that would explain why I woke up this morning feeling very off." Her words took my breath away because now that she mentioned it, that's how my morning started as well. Out of the blue I randomly asked, "Are you a clairvoyant?" She looks deep into my eyes and answered softly, "Yes I am why do you ask?" That electrical shock that I am starting to notice happens quite often when I am in the zone "of weird shit I can't explain" started shooting through my system. "I'm sorry, I have no idea why I asked you that! You must think that was so weird," I stuttered apologetically.
The kind woman smiled back, "No I don't find it weird at all. You asked because you are one too which I sensed when I entered the store." She goes on and explains that when the Earth goes through events, she can sense the disturbance in the normal vibration that it emits. She explains that all things on Earth are made of energy. So far because it's scientifically based, I am following her explanation. If we are all energy then each form on Earth emits a certain vibration. When the normal frequency is off, those sensitive to it are also thrown off. The analogy is you can't harmoniously hum in tune if someone in your choir sings off-key. It throws off your groove.
She then states, "How many people did you ask about the earthquake since knowing about it?" Ummm... okay that is an odd question but since you are non threatening I'll play ball, "No one, you're the first." "How many people came into the store before you asked me?" Wow... I feel like I am being led into a trap. I swallowed, "About a dozen or so." "Do you find it strange that you asked me and no one else?" "Yes, well now that you phrased it in that context that is strange..." "Well it's not strange. We are suppose to meet. The question is WHY?" She gives me her business card. Her name is Shamira Virji and according to her pretty purple card she offers clairvoyant readings, spiritual coaching and meditation.
Realizing that she might add value, I ask her if she feels that the world seemed off it's kilter? Like maybe it's rotating funny? She takes a deep breath and tells me that the Earth is definitely vibrating differently and it's change in vibration has affected many lives. Hmmmm... I feel a hypothesis formulating here. Shamira can tell I wanted to ask her a million other questions and she politely stops me and tells me to pull her card when I feel more clear about the questions I need to ask. I take the hint and wish her a good day.
I call my friend Laura that night to tell her about my experience in my store. Like Yoda, she tells me not to read too much into things and take them as a blessing. She did confirm that Shamira's theory was very similar to one that was shared at a conference she was at. Apparently there is a consensus that the Earth is vibrating at a different frequency then before with the purpose of dismantling an economy based on unsustainable, excessive consumption. By doing this, Earth can bring us back to our life's purpose. So me eating at McDicks and feeling all glorious in name brands like Coach and Lululemon is not assisting me in my life's purpose? Wow... shocker I know. The creepy thing is that this theory would explain the shitty economy and also how I currently feel.
Now going back to my sister's brilliant observation. Up until last year, I officially had no mentor. Not one. How come? How is it possible that a life coping skill that I have applied as long as I can remembered not be in effect? She points out it's because I have outgrown all of my current ones. Oh... well that's shitty... so I am swimming in the sea of life and I have no wetsuit or even a damn lifejacket? No wonder I feel like I'm drowning.
That's my big epiphany. I did not have to lose everything I love or climbed the sacred mountain in Peru (although it is on my bucket list) or run away into the remote jungle and live off of bugs. I was sitting in the comfort of the home I worked really hard to build, surrounded by the people I worked really hard to keep happy and safe and... drinking. So perhaps the Earth is vibrating us into extinction, and perhaps I am embarking on a new journey that was never mapped in the Book of Huong and perhaps in ten years time this Blog will be documented evidence of the descent into insanity. I am not sure. What I am sure of however is that I need the Why and to get that I need to seek out a new mentor.
Saturday, November 12, 2011
11-11-11
I have not blogged for over 3 months because my life has been mentally hectic. Today I am making the time to do it (even though I would prefer sleeping) because it's 11-11-11. Technically because I am posting this at 12:52A it's already passed the auspicious date but in my world the new day does not start until I have gone to bed.
I am just going to throw this out there and it ain't gonna be pretty... anyone else out there feel like the world is off it's rotation? If you know me, you should know that I am a very positive person, cynical yes, but I see the world as my oyster and the glass is always full. Since the middle of last year I have been struggling to beam rays of sunshine from this Care Bear. Not sure why. I started noticing this and dismissed it as possibly the economic downturn, perhaps it's old age and I'm just crabby or even a bit of the post baby blues from juggling a baby, a toddler and a new business. Then I started to be aware of the people around me. Friends and family were are all entering major shifts in their lives. We're not talking changing underwear here or trying out a new recipe. People were changing careers, questioning long time relationships, uprooting their families and moving. And these were just some of the more stable friends.
Personally I have been feeling anxious. I don't normally feel anxious so I didn't realize it was anxiety until someone close to me was clinically labelled with depression. After observing the behaviors I recognized this odd feeling as "anxiety." I am a person that thrives in chaos. Ask any former manager of mine, and they will report that my true colors show when I am plunked right in the middle of mayhem. The adrenaline starts pumping and instinct takes over. I am sure a junkie goes through this same high. Nope... this is definitely not a natural "Huong" emotion and I am highly uncomfortable with it. When something like this happens I kind of withdraw, start being introspective and just observe... I quietly gather my thoughts, assimilate information, formulate questions, seek answers and methodically apply trial and error hypothesis.
Well here are some interesting observations I have molded, digested and now spitting out for trial. I know I must attract a different sort of energy and I am able to perceive other people's energy. You may label this as an intuitive or clairvoyant. All my life I just assumed I was a good people reader. If you're following my blog I would have to assume you have met me in the flesh thus you have been subjected to my witty banters (well they are witty in my head). Would you not agree that I am a good reader of your character, that I understand your core and that somehow I created a connection with you that seemed to have transcended time even though our relationship has not been cultivated for that long? I have been told that I have. Up until a couple months ago I just thought I was a good people reader but it has been brought to my attention from another intuitive that I have a gift of reading your energy level that normally is not visible. I "get" people and that's why I have been successful (so far) in my life. Apparently I translate energy vibrations so I intuitively know who to surround myself with, who to avoid and why you behave the way you do. A random intuitive in a mall recently told me this but I won't digress from my point of topic (but will reserve it for a future one)! And all this time I just thought I was super smart... nope, I just know how to read you and act accordingly to that in my favor. It all makes sense now why I always knew who the liars, frauds, and scums of the earths were.
Second strange epiphany is that I have been plagued with headaches all my life. Ask my mom, she bought Costco sized Tylenol and Advil because I popped them like Skittles growing up. I have been told by another person that I am "sensitive" to the Earth's vibration. Again, another random psychic told me this when I was in my store and again, I will expand on this in a future blog. I suspected this because every time there was a low pressure system brewing my migraines kicked into overdrive. I also noticed that when there was some kind of weather disaster like the last earthquake we had I would wake up feeling like the effin ugly bus hit me.
So, here's my hypothesis. Something is truly broken with the world we are currently living in. For those of us that are sensitive to this, we are uncomfortable with the current vibrations so we're making huge life changes in an attempt to find our normal "groove." I think I lost my groove. Or perhaps I never had it but my current normal feels abnormal so I am seeking something... an explanation... something calming... something fulfilling... something that gives more meaning to the chaos.
I closed the store today to remember 11-11-11. I was able to just hang out in my pyjamas, clean up my nest and stare in awe at my babies and how fast they have grown. Perhaps staying in the moment keeps you sane from the chaos. And perhaps all those years of popping the pills to dull the senses on my uber sensitive antennaes was an act of self preservation because ever since I had kids, the channels seem to be receiving too much information.
I am just going to throw this out there and it ain't gonna be pretty... anyone else out there feel like the world is off it's rotation? If you know me, you should know that I am a very positive person, cynical yes, but I see the world as my oyster and the glass is always full. Since the middle of last year I have been struggling to beam rays of sunshine from this Care Bear. Not sure why. I started noticing this and dismissed it as possibly the economic downturn, perhaps it's old age and I'm just crabby or even a bit of the post baby blues from juggling a baby, a toddler and a new business. Then I started to be aware of the people around me. Friends and family were are all entering major shifts in their lives. We're not talking changing underwear here or trying out a new recipe. People were changing careers, questioning long time relationships, uprooting their families and moving. And these were just some of the more stable friends.
Personally I have been feeling anxious. I don't normally feel anxious so I didn't realize it was anxiety until someone close to me was clinically labelled with depression. After observing the behaviors I recognized this odd feeling as "anxiety." I am a person that thrives in chaos. Ask any former manager of mine, and they will report that my true colors show when I am plunked right in the middle of mayhem. The adrenaline starts pumping and instinct takes over. I am sure a junkie goes through this same high. Nope... this is definitely not a natural "Huong" emotion and I am highly uncomfortable with it. When something like this happens I kind of withdraw, start being introspective and just observe... I quietly gather my thoughts, assimilate information, formulate questions, seek answers and methodically apply trial and error hypothesis.
Well here are some interesting observations I have molded, digested and now spitting out for trial. I know I must attract a different sort of energy and I am able to perceive other people's energy. You may label this as an intuitive or clairvoyant. All my life I just assumed I was a good people reader. If you're following my blog I would have to assume you have met me in the flesh thus you have been subjected to my witty banters (well they are witty in my head). Would you not agree that I am a good reader of your character, that I understand your core and that somehow I created a connection with you that seemed to have transcended time even though our relationship has not been cultivated for that long? I have been told that I have. Up until a couple months ago I just thought I was a good people reader but it has been brought to my attention from another intuitive that I have a gift of reading your energy level that normally is not visible. I "get" people and that's why I have been successful (so far) in my life. Apparently I translate energy vibrations so I intuitively know who to surround myself with, who to avoid and why you behave the way you do. A random intuitive in a mall recently told me this but I won't digress from my point of topic (but will reserve it for a future one)! And all this time I just thought I was super smart... nope, I just know how to read you and act accordingly to that in my favor. It all makes sense now why I always knew who the liars, frauds, and scums of the earths were.
Second strange epiphany is that I have been plagued with headaches all my life. Ask my mom, she bought Costco sized Tylenol and Advil because I popped them like Skittles growing up. I have been told by another person that I am "sensitive" to the Earth's vibration. Again, another random psychic told me this when I was in my store and again, I will expand on this in a future blog. I suspected this because every time there was a low pressure system brewing my migraines kicked into overdrive. I also noticed that when there was some kind of weather disaster like the last earthquake we had I would wake up feeling like the effin ugly bus hit me.
So, here's my hypothesis. Something is truly broken with the world we are currently living in. For those of us that are sensitive to this, we are uncomfortable with the current vibrations so we're making huge life changes in an attempt to find our normal "groove." I think I lost my groove. Or perhaps I never had it but my current normal feels abnormal so I am seeking something... an explanation... something calming... something fulfilling... something that gives more meaning to the chaos.
I closed the store today to remember 11-11-11. I was able to just hang out in my pyjamas, clean up my nest and stare in awe at my babies and how fast they have grown. Perhaps staying in the moment keeps you sane from the chaos. And perhaps all those years of popping the pills to dull the senses on my uber sensitive antennaes was an act of self preservation because ever since I had kids, the channels seem to be receiving too much information.
Sunday, July 31, 2011
Pennies From Heaven
I feel compelled to post today. So much in fact that I have broken my regular routine of tucking my little ones in bed, cleaning up all their toys so I don't kill myself slipping on it in the middle of the night and pouring myself a drink to bring the high octane of my brain down to a soft hum. Instead, I am sitting in my store at 6:45P, listening to the white noise of the HVAC system and enjoying the filtered sun rays through our windows. I really should be home to ask my babies how their day was and relieving my over-worked yet amazing husband for holding down the home fort. But for right now, I am compelled to connect which means I need to write.
Last year my girlfriend Silvia had purchased a home with the intention of building her dream, forever house on it. When she introduced her cute little beach cottage it was on a rainy and dark day... I know, so cliche and a perfect backdrop of all things creepy. Silvia prefers a softly lit room of candles during the evenings and she usually has them sprinkled throughout the home including the washrooms. I had to use the washroom so I excused myself and enjoyed my quiet time in the candle lit bathroom. I usually love the soft lighting but I remembered feeling uneasy when I entered the room. I sat down, did my thing and sat up. Because the toilet is positioned right in front of the vanity mirror I freaked myself out. I was not expecting to see a face looking at me so the image was startling. At first I thought I saw someone and when I realized it was my own reflection I dismissed the poorly lit bathroom as a form of visual trickery. Although my mind rationalized it, my heart was still racing.
After dinner Silvia wanted to grab some Curlys snacks stored in her basement so she asked if Tai and I wanted a tour. Being nosy, of course I went with her. We trottled down the back staircase and I paused at the room directly underneath the bathroom. I blurted, "Did someone die in your house?" Silvia is used to my random questions but this particular one did shake her a bit, "Yes why?"
"Was it a man and did he die in this room?" I pointed to a door that led to the room below the bathroom. Silvia explains that her neighbors had told her that a man committed suicide in the basement and she does think it was that room. She doesn't really know of any other details. The little hairs on my neck started standing up and I shot her THAT look. Silvia brushes off my intuition and reassures my that she has never picked up any negative energy when she moved into the house. I tried to accept her verison but I really couldn't shake the feeling that something was off. I tried to be brave and when I entered the basement a giant, full sized witch greeted me in the musky basement. I almost pooped my pants but being the cool, calm and collected person that Silvia is, she giggled at the strong reaction. Silvia has a thing for collecting Halloween paraphenlia and apparently she had to buy this witch who just so happened to happily live in the creepy basement. Freakin' fantastic. Since Tai was with me, I wanted to appear that nothing was OVERLY spooky about this basement because he's very sensitive on my energies and can relay them. I was grateful when we accomplished the mission of retrieving the snacks without any other incident.
About 6 months after that day I had a horrible nightmare. I dreamt about the man that committed suicide in Silvia's basement. He told me that he was possessed by a demon and the demon was trying to get him to commit horroble acts like hurting the people he loved. Everyone thought he was just crazy but he wasn't. The only way to protect his family was to commit suicide so the demon didn't have a phyiscal body as a conduit. The man warned me that if they demolished the house, it will unleash that demon again and he was going to go after Tai because he was hyper sensitive to that energy. In the dream, I fought tooth and nail saving Tai from the same fate. The dream was so intense that when I woke up I was so disoriented as to what actually happened. My pillow was soaked with tears from my crying and every muscle in my body hurt. It felt like I was battling something. I immediately went to Tai's room for reassurance that everything was just a dream. I told Chris about my nightmare and asked if I should even tell Silvia. Maybe it was just me being a freak and nothing is really wrong with the cute, little bungalow.
I finally did tell my friend about a month after the nightmare. Silvia is very level headed and not a believer in spiritual things but she is open minded to concepts beyond what we can see and touch. We figured maybe it is a sign so just to be cautious we should bless the house. However, since it was my "feeling" I needed to go and find how someone goes about doing this type of thing. It's not exactly a service offered in the Yellow Pages.
When I went to go see the pyschic Annar she confirmed my gut. All I had to do was show her a picture of my friend Silvia. Annar immediately told me that Silvia had a negative energy stuck in her house and I was able to pick up on it. I was so relieved that someone else affirmed this and that I wasn't going crazy. I asked her if I could pay her to come out to bless it. Annar matter of factly told me that I can do it myself. I shot her a confused look. I decorate houses and make them pretty. I don't do exorcisms. She confidently lectured that my Spirit team was highly functional and I had the energy force to take care of it. She reassures me that I was highly capable of doing it myself and it was time to start practicing. "I know how to take out the trash to the curbside. I don't know how to send boogey monsters back to where ever they came from," I declared. Annar ignores my inside voice and tells me the logistics of exactly how one goes about blessing a house.
Armed with a box of salt, Silvia and I arrive on site. The cottage is gone and all we have left is a poured concrete foundation of her dream house. The sun was shining and the birds were out chirping. The plan was that I do my "thing" and Silvia sits in my car just in case. In case of what... we don't really speak of it but we know. I feel terribly out of place and incredibly silly. "So, this box of salt is the fine line of saving Silvia from demons?" Well, apparently that's what Annar says. I am suppose to sprinkle the house with salt and enclose the property in a circle of white light. Hmmmm...
"Okay peeps upstairs let get this done!" I recalled the hypnotherapist session that Laura conducted and tried to prepare my mind for calmness and emptiness. As I started sprinkling, I asked my Spirits to embrace Silvia's home in a protective embrace of positive white light. Any negative, dark energy needs to leave the home and is not wanted here. I started at the door and repeated this mantra as I sprinkled the salt in a counter clock-wise. In true Huong form, my mind starts chattering during this sacred process... "I hope her neighbors aren't looking out the door and wondering what the hell is this short Asian lady doing in our white hood of Twassassen? And what the hell is she sprinkling? Is that rat poison? Perhaps cocaine?" I was sure by the end of it the police was going to be called.
As I was nearing the end of my circle I sprinkled right over something sparkly. Like all women, I couldn't resist shiny objects so I stopped momentarily to pick it up. In my hand was a gold token in the form of a coin. Ironically it was stamped with "No value." I looked at it closer and then that same electricity started shooting through my veins when the realization hit me. My peeps had sent me a "penny from Heaven!" If you recalled my session with Laura, she had pulled a Tarot card to see if she had an answer as to why I was seeing her that night. The card depicted I was surrounded by Angels and through her meditation she had told me that "pennies from Heaven and double rainbows" would be signs that I was on the right path or that my team was watching over me.
I beamed, my heart lifted and I finished my exercise of enclosing the circle. I triumphantly walked over to Silvia who was patiently on standby in the car. I handed her the coin and told her about my find. Her big blue eyes got giant. She shared that because I was taking so long she peeked into the rear view mirror to check on me and she saw me bending down to pick up something. So at that same moment, she witnessed that sacred message.
Again, it probably was an old gold coin lost from a child's board game that was kicking around the building site. Coincidentally, it just so happened to surface as I was sprinkling salt over it.
So, don’t pass by that penny, when you’re feeling blue. It may be a penny from heaven, that an Angel’s tossed to you – Charles Marshburn
Last year my girlfriend Silvia had purchased a home with the intention of building her dream, forever house on it. When she introduced her cute little beach cottage it was on a rainy and dark day... I know, so cliche and a perfect backdrop of all things creepy. Silvia prefers a softly lit room of candles during the evenings and she usually has them sprinkled throughout the home including the washrooms. I had to use the washroom so I excused myself and enjoyed my quiet time in the candle lit bathroom. I usually love the soft lighting but I remembered feeling uneasy when I entered the room. I sat down, did my thing and sat up. Because the toilet is positioned right in front of the vanity mirror I freaked myself out. I was not expecting to see a face looking at me so the image was startling. At first I thought I saw someone and when I realized it was my own reflection I dismissed the poorly lit bathroom as a form of visual trickery. Although my mind rationalized it, my heart was still racing.
After dinner Silvia wanted to grab some Curlys snacks stored in her basement so she asked if Tai and I wanted a tour. Being nosy, of course I went with her. We trottled down the back staircase and I paused at the room directly underneath the bathroom. I blurted, "Did someone die in your house?" Silvia is used to my random questions but this particular one did shake her a bit, "Yes why?"
"Was it a man and did he die in this room?" I pointed to a door that led to the room below the bathroom. Silvia explains that her neighbors had told her that a man committed suicide in the basement and she does think it was that room. She doesn't really know of any other details. The little hairs on my neck started standing up and I shot her THAT look. Silvia brushes off my intuition and reassures my that she has never picked up any negative energy when she moved into the house. I tried to accept her verison but I really couldn't shake the feeling that something was off. I tried to be brave and when I entered the basement a giant, full sized witch greeted me in the musky basement. I almost pooped my pants but being the cool, calm and collected person that Silvia is, she giggled at the strong reaction. Silvia has a thing for collecting Halloween paraphenlia and apparently she had to buy this witch who just so happened to happily live in the creepy basement. Freakin' fantastic. Since Tai was with me, I wanted to appear that nothing was OVERLY spooky about this basement because he's very sensitive on my energies and can relay them. I was grateful when we accomplished the mission of retrieving the snacks without any other incident.
About 6 months after that day I had a horrible nightmare. I dreamt about the man that committed suicide in Silvia's basement. He told me that he was possessed by a demon and the demon was trying to get him to commit horroble acts like hurting the people he loved. Everyone thought he was just crazy but he wasn't. The only way to protect his family was to commit suicide so the demon didn't have a phyiscal body as a conduit. The man warned me that if they demolished the house, it will unleash that demon again and he was going to go after Tai because he was hyper sensitive to that energy. In the dream, I fought tooth and nail saving Tai from the same fate. The dream was so intense that when I woke up I was so disoriented as to what actually happened. My pillow was soaked with tears from my crying and every muscle in my body hurt. It felt like I was battling something. I immediately went to Tai's room for reassurance that everything was just a dream. I told Chris about my nightmare and asked if I should even tell Silvia. Maybe it was just me being a freak and nothing is really wrong with the cute, little bungalow.
I finally did tell my friend about a month after the nightmare. Silvia is very level headed and not a believer in spiritual things but she is open minded to concepts beyond what we can see and touch. We figured maybe it is a sign so just to be cautious we should bless the house. However, since it was my "feeling" I needed to go and find how someone goes about doing this type of thing. It's not exactly a service offered in the Yellow Pages.
When I went to go see the pyschic Annar she confirmed my gut. All I had to do was show her a picture of my friend Silvia. Annar immediately told me that Silvia had a negative energy stuck in her house and I was able to pick up on it. I was so relieved that someone else affirmed this and that I wasn't going crazy. I asked her if I could pay her to come out to bless it. Annar matter of factly told me that I can do it myself. I shot her a confused look. I decorate houses and make them pretty. I don't do exorcisms. She confidently lectured that my Spirit team was highly functional and I had the energy force to take care of it. She reassures me that I was highly capable of doing it myself and it was time to start practicing. "I know how to take out the trash to the curbside. I don't know how to send boogey monsters back to where ever they came from," I declared. Annar ignores my inside voice and tells me the logistics of exactly how one goes about blessing a house.
Armed with a box of salt, Silvia and I arrive on site. The cottage is gone and all we have left is a poured concrete foundation of her dream house. The sun was shining and the birds were out chirping. The plan was that I do my "thing" and Silvia sits in my car just in case. In case of what... we don't really speak of it but we know. I feel terribly out of place and incredibly silly. "So, this box of salt is the fine line of saving Silvia from demons?" Well, apparently that's what Annar says. I am suppose to sprinkle the house with salt and enclose the property in a circle of white light. Hmmmm...
"Okay peeps upstairs let get this done!" I recalled the hypnotherapist session that Laura conducted and tried to prepare my mind for calmness and emptiness. As I started sprinkling, I asked my Spirits to embrace Silvia's home in a protective embrace of positive white light. Any negative, dark energy needs to leave the home and is not wanted here. I started at the door and repeated this mantra as I sprinkled the salt in a counter clock-wise. In true Huong form, my mind starts chattering during this sacred process... "I hope her neighbors aren't looking out the door and wondering what the hell is this short Asian lady doing in our white hood of Twassassen? And what the hell is she sprinkling? Is that rat poison? Perhaps cocaine?" I was sure by the end of it the police was going to be called.
As I was nearing the end of my circle I sprinkled right over something sparkly. Like all women, I couldn't resist shiny objects so I stopped momentarily to pick it up. In my hand was a gold token in the form of a coin. Ironically it was stamped with "No value." I looked at it closer and then that same electricity started shooting through my veins when the realization hit me. My peeps had sent me a "penny from Heaven!" If you recalled my session with Laura, she had pulled a Tarot card to see if she had an answer as to why I was seeing her that night. The card depicted I was surrounded by Angels and through her meditation she had told me that "pennies from Heaven and double rainbows" would be signs that I was on the right path or that my team was watching over me.
I beamed, my heart lifted and I finished my exercise of enclosing the circle. I triumphantly walked over to Silvia who was patiently on standby in the car. I handed her the coin and told her about my find. Her big blue eyes got giant. She shared that because I was taking so long she peeked into the rear view mirror to check on me and she saw me bending down to pick up something. So at that same moment, she witnessed that sacred message.
Again, it probably was an old gold coin lost from a child's board game that was kicking around the building site. Coincidentally, it just so happened to surface as I was sprinkling salt over it.
So, don’t pass by that penny, when you’re feeling blue. It may be a penny from heaven, that an Angel’s tossed to you – Charles Marshburn
Thursday, June 9, 2011
Past Ramblings
Past life regression hypnotherapy is a robustly contested topic. It is based on the assumption that people re-incarnate multiple life cycles to experience different lessons that can only be achieved in a physical form. Advocates of this form of therapy believe that under hypnosis, the patient can access the subconscious where repressed memories from their previous lives are stored. Understanding these elements may bring clarity into one's current life cycle thus allowing the patient to move forward into a more fulfilling path. Skeptics argue that these memories are false and created under the power of suggestions from the hypnosis, imagination and previous experiences. At its best, these confabulations are more like metaphors for your life's issues.
I am a believer and a non-believer. I believe that under the ideal conditions, the power of suggestion can create many untruths. I see it everyday in my own store when I am hawking my wares. With the correct amount of nurturing I can create a compelling argument as to why you do need to spend $3,000 on a dining room table even though there is a perfectly good one sitting at home. And this is done while your eyes are wide open. I also believe that before we were born into our physical capsule, we chose the blueprint of our life, what lessons we would like to learn and appoint a designated team of "spirits" whom we entrusted to help achieve this goal of learning. So somewhere up there, I have my life's blueprints stored in the akashic records. Some life cycles we are successful in achieving the lessons we seek out to learn, some life cycles we are off track and totally miss the mark and in other life cycles we are not the students but the appointed teachers to assist someone else. This I believe.
So Laura soothingly asks permission from my "soul" to access my previous lives. I raise a finger to show that accessing the vault is permitted. She tells me to look down at my feet and ask what color are they. I tell her I am wearing boots. I look around and notice that I am in a peaceful forest and I am riding a spotted brown horse. Well this is bizarre... Laura instructs me to hold a mirror up to my face and tell her what I see. What the? I see a white, young male in his 20's staring back at me with warm brown eyes and brown wavy hair. I also am wearing a green cap. The awareness that I was a white male made me almost fall off my hypnosis-created horse. Oh my stars, am I wearing green tights and a tunic? How dreadful... wow, I think I smell... Laura asks what I was doing. I told her I am not sure. I think I am just riding a horse. "Where are you going?" she prods. I don't know... I am just in a forest. Wait a minute, am I Robin Hood? I check my back and sure enough there is a carrier of arrows. Hmmmm... my gut tells me I was looking for something but not sure what. Laura encourages me to forward to a time when it was significant. She snaps her fingers. I am surrounded by fog. Oh wait... maybe it was smoke... I can't tell. The images don't come clearly to me like one would see in a movie. Instead, thoughts come to me and I just blab them out loud to Laura. After I blab something, the images in my head come into vision clearer. She asks what was happening. Houses are burning, people are running, there is lots of screaming and mayhem. Laura ask what I was doing. I am confused. I think I am fighting someone. I reach for my bow and arrow and expertly pierced the torso of another man that appeared to be a Viking. I am still confused. Realizing she wasn't going to get more details so she moves me to another event with a snap of her fingers. I look down and I am holding a beautiful baby boy. Laura asks who's baby was it? I think he's mine. Suddenly I feel wetness on my cheeks. What the hell? Am I crying? Why the hell am I crying? Consciously I am fully aware that I am crying but unconsciously I have no idea why. Maybe I just witnessed the birth of my own child so I am crying out of joy? Holy shit, this hynosis is so weird. Laura asks how I died. I blurted out that I died of old age. She asks what I advice I can tell my current self. To live a good honest life and to help as many people as possible. The tears stopped.
Laura snaps her fingers again and I am suddenly transported to the middle of a field. It's grassy and flat and there are endless blue skies stretched out before me. She asks me to look down at my feet and tell her what I see. I see brown skinned toes. Eeeeewww... I see dirt under my unclipped toenails. Man I need a bath. She asks me to hold a mirror up and tell her what I see. I hold up the mirror and see a dark skinned 12 year old boy with a shaved head. She asks what was I doing. I don't know. Hmmmm... why am I constantly hanging out in the middle of no where and not having a clue why? Laura realizes that I really don't have a clue so she moves me forward with another snap.
People are staring intensely at me. Not just a couple, a whole crap load of them. The group of noble looking men and women, dressed in what looked like Medival garb. Oh... the people staring at me are my councillors or... maybe advisors or... maybe they are just admiring my nice clothes. Oh my... these are nice clothes! Well, thank goodness they aren't staring at me because I'm naked... and thank goodness my hygiene level is much better in this lifetime. I think they are waiting for me to make an important decision. Laura asks what it was. I don't know. She snaps me forward and this time I am staring out from what I think is my balcony. I am admiring the beauty and happiness of that lovely morning and appreciating that my kingdom is at peace. I enjoyed the view but since there was not much going on but me gawking at my own work, Laura moves me to my time of death. I am in war. My sword is really heavy and my opponent strikes it out of my hand. He triumphantly stabs me through the torso. I feel wetness on my cheeks again. What the hell? Am I crying again? Laura reminds my soul that this was a past life and the pain I am feeling is not real. I tell her I am not crying because of the pain. I am crying because I feel guilty. "Why do you feel guilty?" I feel guilty that I let my kingdom down but I am so happy and so relieved that I am finally dead because I don't have to do this King thing anymore. I am sobbing uncontrollably and the tears are mixing in with my lovely boogers. Gawd... I am an emotional wreck.
Laura attempts to release my guilt through some therapeutic words. I am not really listening. Instead I some how got transported to another scene where I am witnessing a lovely pale maiden with flowing red locks burn to death at the stake while people are angrily chanting,"Witch, witch, witch!" I realized that she was the same maiden that was staring at me in the first scene. Oh my gawd, this maiden is Laura! I tried to save her but I couldn't. I think she was a Priestess that healed people as well and she was a close confidante to me. The guilt from not being able to save her created another wave of uncontrollable sobbing. Laura eases my sobbing by bringing me back slowly to this lifetime.
My eyes flew open and I immediately grabbed the tissue box beside me. I am exhausted but relieved to see me sitting on a Poang chair. I felt like I ran a marathon, and then got hit by a train, and then got up to drink to the point I couldn't see. I was speechless. I fully knew what I said and remembered everything.
Laura hands me a card that she pulled from her Tarot deck prior to me seeing her. She asked the Universe what my lesson here was. I look at the card and see a bunch of orbs in the modern artwork. Laura explains that it means I am surrounded my Angels. I smiled. This does not surprise me. She tells me that she asked the Universe to send me messages that I am on the right path by creating rainbows and pennies from Heaven.
The natural skeptic in me digested the events that night. Was I a King because I am an ego maniac so therefore I conjured up this need as an affirmation for my grandiosity? Or am I an ego maniac because I was a King in my past life therefore remnants of my grandeur permenated through this lifetime. Well, if that was the case then it sure explains my lack of humbleness. Hmmmm... And why on Earth did I hook up with Laura? Bizarre. I felt quite strongly that in my lifetime as a King, Priestess Laura was a teacher for me. Coincidental that she has been guiding me on this spiritual exploration in this life time? Hmmmm... You know what's really infuriating? Answering questions with questions.
Thank you Sensei Laura. I promise to not let you burn at the stake in this lifetime.
I am a believer and a non-believer. I believe that under the ideal conditions, the power of suggestion can create many untruths. I see it everyday in my own store when I am hawking my wares. With the correct amount of nurturing I can create a compelling argument as to why you do need to spend $3,000 on a dining room table even though there is a perfectly good one sitting at home. And this is done while your eyes are wide open. I also believe that before we were born into our physical capsule, we chose the blueprint of our life, what lessons we would like to learn and appoint a designated team of "spirits" whom we entrusted to help achieve this goal of learning. So somewhere up there, I have my life's blueprints stored in the akashic records. Some life cycles we are successful in achieving the lessons we seek out to learn, some life cycles we are off track and totally miss the mark and in other life cycles we are not the students but the appointed teachers to assist someone else. This I believe.
So Laura soothingly asks permission from my "soul" to access my previous lives. I raise a finger to show that accessing the vault is permitted. She tells me to look down at my feet and ask what color are they. I tell her I am wearing boots. I look around and notice that I am in a peaceful forest and I am riding a spotted brown horse. Well this is bizarre... Laura instructs me to hold a mirror up to my face and tell her what I see. What the? I see a white, young male in his 20's staring back at me with warm brown eyes and brown wavy hair. I also am wearing a green cap. The awareness that I was a white male made me almost fall off my hypnosis-created horse. Oh my stars, am I wearing green tights and a tunic? How dreadful... wow, I think I smell... Laura asks what I was doing. I told her I am not sure. I think I am just riding a horse. "Where are you going?" she prods. I don't know... I am just in a forest. Wait a minute, am I Robin Hood? I check my back and sure enough there is a carrier of arrows. Hmmmm... my gut tells me I was looking for something but not sure what. Laura encourages me to forward to a time when it was significant. She snaps her fingers. I am surrounded by fog. Oh wait... maybe it was smoke... I can't tell. The images don't come clearly to me like one would see in a movie. Instead, thoughts come to me and I just blab them out loud to Laura. After I blab something, the images in my head come into vision clearer. She asks what was happening. Houses are burning, people are running, there is lots of screaming and mayhem. Laura ask what I was doing. I am confused. I think I am fighting someone. I reach for my bow and arrow and expertly pierced the torso of another man that appeared to be a Viking. I am still confused. Realizing she wasn't going to get more details so she moves me to another event with a snap of her fingers. I look down and I am holding a beautiful baby boy. Laura asks who's baby was it? I think he's mine. Suddenly I feel wetness on my cheeks. What the hell? Am I crying? Why the hell am I crying? Consciously I am fully aware that I am crying but unconsciously I have no idea why. Maybe I just witnessed the birth of my own child so I am crying out of joy? Holy shit, this hynosis is so weird. Laura asks how I died. I blurted out that I died of old age. She asks what I advice I can tell my current self. To live a good honest life and to help as many people as possible. The tears stopped.
Laura snaps her fingers again and I am suddenly transported to the middle of a field. It's grassy and flat and there are endless blue skies stretched out before me. She asks me to look down at my feet and tell her what I see. I see brown skinned toes. Eeeeewww... I see dirt under my unclipped toenails. Man I need a bath. She asks me to hold a mirror up and tell her what I see. I hold up the mirror and see a dark skinned 12 year old boy with a shaved head. She asks what was I doing. I don't know. Hmmmm... why am I constantly hanging out in the middle of no where and not having a clue why? Laura realizes that I really don't have a clue so she moves me forward with another snap.
People are staring intensely at me. Not just a couple, a whole crap load of them. The group of noble looking men and women, dressed in what looked like Medival garb. Oh... the people staring at me are my councillors or... maybe advisors or... maybe they are just admiring my nice clothes. Oh my... these are nice clothes! Well, thank goodness they aren't staring at me because I'm naked... and thank goodness my hygiene level is much better in this lifetime. I think they are waiting for me to make an important decision. Laura asks what it was. I don't know. She snaps me forward and this time I am staring out from what I think is my balcony. I am admiring the beauty and happiness of that lovely morning and appreciating that my kingdom is at peace. I enjoyed the view but since there was not much going on but me gawking at my own work, Laura moves me to my time of death. I am in war. My sword is really heavy and my opponent strikes it out of my hand. He triumphantly stabs me through the torso. I feel wetness on my cheeks again. What the hell? Am I crying again? Laura reminds my soul that this was a past life and the pain I am feeling is not real. I tell her I am not crying because of the pain. I am crying because I feel guilty. "Why do you feel guilty?" I feel guilty that I let my kingdom down but I am so happy and so relieved that I am finally dead because I don't have to do this King thing anymore. I am sobbing uncontrollably and the tears are mixing in with my lovely boogers. Gawd... I am an emotional wreck.
Laura attempts to release my guilt through some therapeutic words. I am not really listening. Instead I some how got transported to another scene where I am witnessing a lovely pale maiden with flowing red locks burn to death at the stake while people are angrily chanting,"Witch, witch, witch!" I realized that she was the same maiden that was staring at me in the first scene. Oh my gawd, this maiden is Laura! I tried to save her but I couldn't. I think she was a Priestess that healed people as well and she was a close confidante to me. The guilt from not being able to save her created another wave of uncontrollable sobbing. Laura eases my sobbing by bringing me back slowly to this lifetime.
My eyes flew open and I immediately grabbed the tissue box beside me. I am exhausted but relieved to see me sitting on a Poang chair. I felt like I ran a marathon, and then got hit by a train, and then got up to drink to the point I couldn't see. I was speechless. I fully knew what I said and remembered everything.
Laura hands me a card that she pulled from her Tarot deck prior to me seeing her. She asked the Universe what my lesson here was. I look at the card and see a bunch of orbs in the modern artwork. Laura explains that it means I am surrounded my Angels. I smiled. This does not surprise me. She tells me that she asked the Universe to send me messages that I am on the right path by creating rainbows and pennies from Heaven.
The natural skeptic in me digested the events that night. Was I a King because I am an ego maniac so therefore I conjured up this need as an affirmation for my grandiosity? Or am I an ego maniac because I was a King in my past life therefore remnants of my grandeur permenated through this lifetime. Well, if that was the case then it sure explains my lack of humbleness. Hmmmm... And why on Earth did I hook up with Laura? Bizarre. I felt quite strongly that in my lifetime as a King, Priestess Laura was a teacher for me. Coincidental that she has been guiding me on this spiritual exploration in this life time? Hmmmm... You know what's really infuriating? Answering questions with questions.
Thank you Sensei Laura. I promise to not let you burn at the stake in this lifetime.
Wednesday, June 1, 2011
Going With The Flow
It was a long drive.
I had an appointment to meet with Laura yesterday after work. When she gave me her address I sarcastically commented that my passport had expired and so I wasn't sure if the delegates of Maple Ridge would let me in her neck of the woods. I was chatting with her on Facebook and I could sense she was rolling her eyes at my witty retort.
Traffic was at it's peak and of course the weather started to turn ugly. "Great... this is freaking fantastic." I call Chris to let Laura know I would be late. As I manuever myself through the GVRD my mind started wandering back to our Facebook chats. Laura is a clinically trained hynotherapist who I just recently started befriending. During her own journey into her life's purpose she had recalled two past lives. In one lifetime she was a Priestess who healed people but eventually felt so burdened with her talents that she decided to stop practicing her gift. She died from someone carving her heart out. She learned that she doesn't have to feel obligated to serve her entire lifetime. In another life cycle she was a Viking soldier who couldn't save his wife from being kidnapped and probably tortured. He did re-marry and lived a long life but the guilt was never let go. Such fascinating stories.
I am a strong believer in re-incarnation and cycling back into this physical plane with the purpose of experiencing lessons. I am also what you may call an "easy" subject when it comes to the power of suggestion thanks to my vivid imagination. If a person said, "Hey Huong, you want a caeser?" my mouth, like a seasoned Pavlov's dog, would start watering right on cue. For this same reason, I refuse to watch scary movies because I am very talented at impressing the images I saw onto my own landscape... for like... weeks. With this level of awareness I try to keep my expectations in check. On the one hand I am also very nervous to see what past life issues I have been harboring unconsciously. On the other hand, I wonder if my highly tuned and conditioned analytical mind would even allow me to be seduced to the hynotic level where the lymbic system runs automatically without the conscious mind.
Laura walks me through the technical aspects of hypnosis to clear up any apprehensions and misconceptions. Laura has set aside a cozy, dimly lit room where I happily plunk myself into a comfy Poang chair. I smile at the familiar IKEA best seller and start recalling how many units of this favorite lounger I sold as a sales manager. I then notice the sounds of water falling and realized she owns one of those table top Zen rock waterfalls things... the same one in fact that Chris got for Christmas from his step grandma 4 years ago. It then occurred to me that I totally tuned out what Laura was saying. I reshift my body language to focus on her. See? This is how my mind works. It rambles and rambles and rambles... all the time. The really freaky thing? I have these random thoughts but I totally heard EVERYTHING Laura had said down to the statistic that we use only 5% of our brain, leaving 95% of it unused in the sub-conscious mind. If you really know me, you would know that I recall details vividly and with impeccable accuracy. So how is it that I can have a separate conversation with myself about minute, trivial information but somehow can conduct a full conversation and acquire new information at the same time? So... I guess Miss Laura has her work cut out for her.
She starts the session by turning on the CD with the new age music. I feel like I'm at a spa. I uncross my legs, slip into a cozy throw, close my eyes and follow her instructions as she reads a script. She tells me to imagine myself floating out of my body and looking back down at it. I envision myself doing this and start giggling - in my mind so I don't get in trouble. I find it so funny that the person I imagined floating out of my body was not the actual image of the real me. Instead, I imagine myself as a blue energy being with very little facial features and long blue energy hair down to my bum. Laura instructs me to move my floating self to the left as far as the wall, or perhaps beyond it and even beyond this planet if I choose to. In my head, I methodically repeat her instructions: Okay Laura I will float my weird, unclothed blue energy being to my left... ummmm... go past your wall... go outside your home... oh wait, is your home on a greenbelt? Does that mean if I float too far a bear might eat me? I started silently smiling in my head again because apparently I am being highly amused at my own running monologue. Laura brings my floating self back to my core and instructs me to start creating a safe zone where I am at peace. My mind starts imagining a peaceful forest where the sun trickles through the lush trees and shines softly onto the... ummm... pond? Why on earth would you pick a pond? Ponds are stagnant bodies of water which means it's a ripe environment for leeches to grow. Eeeeewwww... great sanctuary if you're an animal that feasts on leeches. For pete's sake if you're going to imagine a water feature go all out and do a waterfall. Okay.. the sun trickles through the lush trees and shines softly on the small lake where it is being fed by a waterfall. Is the waterfall being fed by a glacier or an underground aquifer? Holy geezes, why do I have fairies dancing around me? Shoo! Dancing fairies you need to fly back to Care Bear Land before Laura finds out your distracting me from following her instructions. The fairies ignore my request but they politely bring me a rock where I delightfully sit in the signature yoga pose of ohm. Laura's voice then focusses my attention and tells me that I am so relaxed that my left leg is feeling so, so, so heavy. It is so heavy that I can't even lift it. Oh sure, I am so, so, so relaxed that I can't EVEN lift my left foot. Apparently my blue energy being is sarcastic to the core. Laura softly tests my state and tells me to lift my left leg. I skeptically ignore her warning that I had no control over my leg and triumphantly... failed? Wait a minute... holy geezes I can't lift my leg?! What the hell just happened here? One second ago I was shooing away fairies like they were mosquitoes and the next thing I can't lift my own leg? This can't be right. I test my other limbs, everything is dead weight. In fact, even after Laura gives me permission to float my left hand up into the air like a helium balloon I couldn't oblige. She had to come over and lift it for me. I am utterly flabbergasted. Suddenly it dawned on me that somewhere between my own running monolgue and my conscious mind following Laura's instructions I was able to relax to a state of unconsciousness. My mind goes quiet. I feel that my limbs are frozen but I sense some tingling at the extremities. I am aware that if I really wanted to, I probably can open my eyes and regain control of this physical ship so I can move limbs. But then what? That's seem silly trying to undo what you came to discover.
Laura moves onto the next phase of the session and ask permission from my soul to explore it's past lives. I give her permission by raising my right finger. She starts describing elements of a carnival scene and although I am sure I heard her voice in the background, I really didn't follow her instructions as strictly as the first part. Instead my mind starts wandering into a bizarre silence where its quiet... I have never experienced that before. No monologue laden with sarcasm. No silently smiling at my own reflections. No digesting stimulation. No fairies dancing on mushroom tops. No going over a to do list. It was just... nothing. Just me embraced in a white light.
Laura's voice jolts me out of the nothingness and she guides me to recall a past life.
I had an appointment to meet with Laura yesterday after work. When she gave me her address I sarcastically commented that my passport had expired and so I wasn't sure if the delegates of Maple Ridge would let me in her neck of the woods. I was chatting with her on Facebook and I could sense she was rolling her eyes at my witty retort.
Traffic was at it's peak and of course the weather started to turn ugly. "Great... this is freaking fantastic." I call Chris to let Laura know I would be late. As I manuever myself through the GVRD my mind started wandering back to our Facebook chats. Laura is a clinically trained hynotherapist who I just recently started befriending. During her own journey into her life's purpose she had recalled two past lives. In one lifetime she was a Priestess who healed people but eventually felt so burdened with her talents that she decided to stop practicing her gift. She died from someone carving her heart out. She learned that she doesn't have to feel obligated to serve her entire lifetime. In another life cycle she was a Viking soldier who couldn't save his wife from being kidnapped and probably tortured. He did re-marry and lived a long life but the guilt was never let go. Such fascinating stories.
I am a strong believer in re-incarnation and cycling back into this physical plane with the purpose of experiencing lessons. I am also what you may call an "easy" subject when it comes to the power of suggestion thanks to my vivid imagination. If a person said, "Hey Huong, you want a caeser?" my mouth, like a seasoned Pavlov's dog, would start watering right on cue. For this same reason, I refuse to watch scary movies because I am very talented at impressing the images I saw onto my own landscape... for like... weeks. With this level of awareness I try to keep my expectations in check. On the one hand I am also very nervous to see what past life issues I have been harboring unconsciously. On the other hand, I wonder if my highly tuned and conditioned analytical mind would even allow me to be seduced to the hynotic level where the lymbic system runs automatically without the conscious mind.
Laura walks me through the technical aspects of hypnosis to clear up any apprehensions and misconceptions. Laura has set aside a cozy, dimly lit room where I happily plunk myself into a comfy Poang chair. I smile at the familiar IKEA best seller and start recalling how many units of this favorite lounger I sold as a sales manager. I then notice the sounds of water falling and realized she owns one of those table top Zen rock waterfalls things... the same one in fact that Chris got for Christmas from his step grandma 4 years ago. It then occurred to me that I totally tuned out what Laura was saying. I reshift my body language to focus on her. See? This is how my mind works. It rambles and rambles and rambles... all the time. The really freaky thing? I have these random thoughts but I totally heard EVERYTHING Laura had said down to the statistic that we use only 5% of our brain, leaving 95% of it unused in the sub-conscious mind. If you really know me, you would know that I recall details vividly and with impeccable accuracy. So how is it that I can have a separate conversation with myself about minute, trivial information but somehow can conduct a full conversation and acquire new information at the same time? So... I guess Miss Laura has her work cut out for her.
She starts the session by turning on the CD with the new age music. I feel like I'm at a spa. I uncross my legs, slip into a cozy throw, close my eyes and follow her instructions as she reads a script. She tells me to imagine myself floating out of my body and looking back down at it. I envision myself doing this and start giggling - in my mind so I don't get in trouble. I find it so funny that the person I imagined floating out of my body was not the actual image of the real me. Instead, I imagine myself as a blue energy being with very little facial features and long blue energy hair down to my bum. Laura instructs me to move my floating self to the left as far as the wall, or perhaps beyond it and even beyond this planet if I choose to. In my head, I methodically repeat her instructions: Okay Laura I will float my weird, unclothed blue energy being to my left... ummmm... go past your wall... go outside your home... oh wait, is your home on a greenbelt? Does that mean if I float too far a bear might eat me? I started silently smiling in my head again because apparently I am being highly amused at my own running monologue. Laura brings my floating self back to my core and instructs me to start creating a safe zone where I am at peace. My mind starts imagining a peaceful forest where the sun trickles through the lush trees and shines softly onto the... ummm... pond? Why on earth would you pick a pond? Ponds are stagnant bodies of water which means it's a ripe environment for leeches to grow. Eeeeewwww... great sanctuary if you're an animal that feasts on leeches. For pete's sake if you're going to imagine a water feature go all out and do a waterfall. Okay.. the sun trickles through the lush trees and shines softly on the small lake where it is being fed by a waterfall. Is the waterfall being fed by a glacier or an underground aquifer? Holy geezes, why do I have fairies dancing around me? Shoo! Dancing fairies you need to fly back to Care Bear Land before Laura finds out your distracting me from following her instructions. The fairies ignore my request but they politely bring me a rock where I delightfully sit in the signature yoga pose of ohm. Laura's voice then focusses my attention and tells me that I am so relaxed that my left leg is feeling so, so, so heavy. It is so heavy that I can't even lift it. Oh sure, I am so, so, so relaxed that I can't EVEN lift my left foot. Apparently my blue energy being is sarcastic to the core. Laura softly tests my state and tells me to lift my left leg. I skeptically ignore her warning that I had no control over my leg and triumphantly... failed? Wait a minute... holy geezes I can't lift my leg?! What the hell just happened here? One second ago I was shooing away fairies like they were mosquitoes and the next thing I can't lift my own leg? This can't be right. I test my other limbs, everything is dead weight. In fact, even after Laura gives me permission to float my left hand up into the air like a helium balloon I couldn't oblige. She had to come over and lift it for me. I am utterly flabbergasted. Suddenly it dawned on me that somewhere between my own running monolgue and my conscious mind following Laura's instructions I was able to relax to a state of unconsciousness. My mind goes quiet. I feel that my limbs are frozen but I sense some tingling at the extremities. I am aware that if I really wanted to, I probably can open my eyes and regain control of this physical ship so I can move limbs. But then what? That's seem silly trying to undo what you came to discover.
Laura moves onto the next phase of the session and ask permission from my soul to explore it's past lives. I give her permission by raising my right finger. She starts describing elements of a carnival scene and although I am sure I heard her voice in the background, I really didn't follow her instructions as strictly as the first part. Instead my mind starts wandering into a bizarre silence where its quiet... I have never experienced that before. No monologue laden with sarcasm. No silently smiling at my own reflections. No digesting stimulation. No fairies dancing on mushroom tops. No going over a to do list. It was just... nothing. Just me embraced in a white light.
Laura's voice jolts me out of the nothingness and she guides me to recall a past life.
Thursday, May 26, 2011
Turning The Corner
I suspect I am tuning into something bigger... then myself. For those that know me, this is a giant statement that carries some hefty weight as I am not exactly a frequent eater of humble pie.
I was on Twitter last week and made a pathetic attempt of engaging in this new world of social marketing. I know you're suppose to be clever, quick on the draw and slightly edgy on your tweets. Now if this was my own personal tweet and not representative of my actual company, then I wouldn't have had a problem. But... since this is the professional world, my "Huongisms" would offend more than inspire. So I resisted my natural urge to tweet shit like: "Please leave children and food outside. Well behaved dogs are welcomed." Instead I procrastinated and started to read the threads. One tweet jumped out: What Age Is Your Soul? I clicked on the link and started reading it when halfway through a customer interupted my flow.
That night after the kids were in bed I tried to locate that link on the Twitter feed but gave up after 15 minutes. Instead I Googled, "What Age Is Your Soul." I found a link but not the orginal link. Instead I found "Micheal's Teachings" which I tried to digest while downing some bad wine. The content was substantial: http://www.michaelteachings.com. The really bizarre thing is that it summed up my hodgy-podgy belief system that I cut and pasted from whatever I believed made sense to me. So strange that a document would summarize my views... and here I thought I was being original... apparently not.
The following night I learned through another social media, Facebook, that my mother-in-law's friend is a clinically trained hypnotherapist. I started chatting with her and she agreed to do a past life regression on me which I am totally excited about! I have an open mind so we'll see what she finds hidden amongst the cob webs and many life cycles of perfecting the soul. I just hope she doesn't tell me I am the incarnate of Jack The Ripper or something. I am more hoping she might be able to channel my Spirit Guides as I am still floundering in my sea of options. We'll see.
Yesterday I watched Oprah which is not something I normally do. She is an amazing woman but because of my busy life I have not been able to follow her as much as I would like. On her last episode, she did however hit some very high spiritual notes. So much resonated with me that I started crying... actually it was an all outright bawling session. Again, if you know me... I don't cry. I usually replace crying with anger unless I am hormonally retarded like during my pregnancy days. Just something about that show clicked.
Oprah mentioned that life lessons are first done as whispers and they get louder and louder until you die from it or the lesson is learned. My analogy throughout my life is that lessons are usually thrown at you like pebbles, which eventually grow into larger rocks and then into boulders until you have no choice but to face it - if you continue to ignore it, the boulder will fall on top of you and kill you - sort of like the house that squished the Wicked Witch of the West. Again... why is Oprah echoing my life philosphy? So strange.
So I have been highly contemplative, opening my channels, tuning in and observing from my seat. I know a couple of truths about myself on this journey of life so far:
- True success is being true to yourself, regardless of what society tells you. Accept your true self and feel the power of real happiness and peace.
- Real wealth is defined by the depth of your relationships.
- There is a higher power out there. I am not alone.
I was on Twitter last week and made a pathetic attempt of engaging in this new world of social marketing. I know you're suppose to be clever, quick on the draw and slightly edgy on your tweets. Now if this was my own personal tweet and not representative of my actual company, then I wouldn't have had a problem. But... since this is the professional world, my "Huongisms" would offend more than inspire. So I resisted my natural urge to tweet shit like: "Please leave children and food outside. Well behaved dogs are welcomed." Instead I procrastinated and started to read the threads. One tweet jumped out: What Age Is Your Soul? I clicked on the link and started reading it when halfway through a customer interupted my flow.
That night after the kids were in bed I tried to locate that link on the Twitter feed but gave up after 15 minutes. Instead I Googled, "What Age Is Your Soul." I found a link but not the orginal link. Instead I found "Micheal's Teachings" which I tried to digest while downing some bad wine. The content was substantial: http://www.michaelteachings.com. The really bizarre thing is that it summed up my hodgy-podgy belief system that I cut and pasted from whatever I believed made sense to me. So strange that a document would summarize my views... and here I thought I was being original... apparently not.
The following night I learned through another social media, Facebook, that my mother-in-law's friend is a clinically trained hypnotherapist. I started chatting with her and she agreed to do a past life regression on me which I am totally excited about! I have an open mind so we'll see what she finds hidden amongst the cob webs and many life cycles of perfecting the soul. I just hope she doesn't tell me I am the incarnate of Jack The Ripper or something. I am more hoping she might be able to channel my Spirit Guides as I am still floundering in my sea of options. We'll see.
Yesterday I watched Oprah which is not something I normally do. She is an amazing woman but because of my busy life I have not been able to follow her as much as I would like. On her last episode, she did however hit some very high spiritual notes. So much resonated with me that I started crying... actually it was an all outright bawling session. Again, if you know me... I don't cry. I usually replace crying with anger unless I am hormonally retarded like during my pregnancy days. Just something about that show clicked.
Oprah mentioned that life lessons are first done as whispers and they get louder and louder until you die from it or the lesson is learned. My analogy throughout my life is that lessons are usually thrown at you like pebbles, which eventually grow into larger rocks and then into boulders until you have no choice but to face it - if you continue to ignore it, the boulder will fall on top of you and kill you - sort of like the house that squished the Wicked Witch of the West. Again... why is Oprah echoing my life philosphy? So strange.
So I have been highly contemplative, opening my channels, tuning in and observing from my seat. I know a couple of truths about myself on this journey of life so far:
- True success is being true to yourself, regardless of what society tells you. Accept your true self and feel the power of real happiness and peace.
- Real wealth is defined by the depth of your relationships.
- There is a higher power out there. I am not alone.
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