I'm not an athlete. If I'm running its because a) I have discovered an amazing sale or b) something evil with red glowing eyes, and fangs dripping in blood is chasing me. Thank gawd the second part doesn't happen often because instead of sitting here blogging, my lack of athletic prowess would have sacrificed this dense human suit to be a juicy fuel source for said demon. But, pathetic disclaimer aside, I LOVE the spirit of the Winter Olympics. When Vancouver hosted the Winter Olympics back in 2010, the city just felt magical. The enthusiasm, sense of pride and camaraderie fuelled this intoxicating energy that touched everything in our lives and for two weeks each and everyone of us belonged. We Canadians were ONE.
The dedication behind each and every Olympian representing Canada is a story of passion, dedication to their art, having the courage to let go of everything and risking it all just for the chance to live their highest self. Weaved into this larger overlay is the subtle undertone that in the beginning, these Olympians just knew they were born to be here for a reason. Their parents knew their child was going to do something amazing. Their support team comprising of coaches, teachers, neighbors and extended family members knew that this child was going to be extraordinary. An Olympian just doesn't happen overnight. An Olympian shows the Universe what they want, and the Universe supports in kind.
The Law Of Attraction is one of many laws that govern our existence and a theory widely known in both the scientific and metaphysical academia. What most people understand of the the Law Of Attraction is the basic definition that "like attracts like." What a lot of people don't understand about this definition is that it is based on vibrational frequency. Say... whaaaaaaaaaat? Vibrational frequency is the energy you create which are formed from your thoughts and emotions. Believe it or not, we all are connected through this subtle energy field, or vibrational frequency and the interaction of one person will affect another. This is popularly known as the "butterfly effect." Everyone has the ability to pick up on each other's energy as it's an effortless communication system that binds us regardless if you speak to one another or not.
The Law Of Entrainment states a more powerful form of energy has the ability to capture or entrain the weaker ones into its level of vibration or frequency. Practical examples have punctuated our history illustrates some of humanity's worst and highest moments. High profiled leaders such as Attila The Hun, Adolf Hitler, and Josef Stalin's vision entrained and immobilized their nation into believing that executing another race or faith was ethical, demonstrates the negative application of this theory. On the flip side, leaders fighting for inclusionary rights such as Martin Luther King Jr, the Dhali Lama and Ghandi have captured the hearts of multi-nations and moved humanity forward based on love. These historical references illuminate the macrocosm of universal energy forces and the power of entrainment.
On a microcosm level, each of us have the ability to influence our energy fields by simply thinking about it. Make no qualms about it, your thoughts are powerful and they create your reality. Have you ever noticed that you were in an amazing mood but when you showed up for work your normally bitchy boss is being an extra douche bag so your mood goes from a Mary Poppins high to like a Mr. Grouch low? All of a sudden, everything is shitty. Your coffee that you normally enjoy is cold, you get a paper cut and you react like your arm just got amputated and your BFF's usually hilarious stories is translating more like Fran Drescher rather than Seinfield. Your witchy, asshole of a manager has just successfully entrained you into her lower vibration and congratulations, you now hate life and are stewing in the cesspool of ugliness. You might as well be crawling on your belly alongside the slimy, loin clothed Gollum, picking at skinny fish bones at the very bottom of Mount Mordor and pining forever at the lost of your Precious.
The other reality can be today. I am literally vibrating and may even exaggerate as to say hovering. Although I personally don't know any Olympian and have declared myself an athletic idiot, I am just so proud. The symbolism behind each medal earned by the best of the best Canadian athletes makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside. I feel so energized that maybe today is the day I might try putting on that cape and flying. My house is in shambles, and yes of course I should clean that creepy ring in my toilets but I don't care. I'm on Facebook, Twitter and Google and just enthralled with the magic. I love how my friend in Steveston announced just a couple days ago that he would open up his restaurant at 4AM this morning to celebrate the men's gold medal game. Not surprisingly, even though they couldn't serve alcohol his event sold out in a day. I love how all my friends on Facebook took on the Canadian pride and inundated the news feed with posts of love because we won GOLD for both women and men in the one sport that defines us. Do you feel that? That is some potently, powerfully awesome energy, and everyone can make the decision to connect into it.
The other day Jasmine Bharucha, a local real estate agent came into the store. I recognized her because this petite, attractive woman has her face plastered on all the bus stops in our neighborhood as advertising for her business. She is a friend of a client of ours and although she has been in the store before, I never had the chance to speak to her one on one. That morning I decided to take the opportunity when she mentioned that she loved what we did with her friend's home. Rachael has been working on this project for over a year and basically gutted the modest home to bring it from it's original 1970's status into the current millennium. Jasmine shared that she started off her real estate career actually as an interior designer ten years ago so her appreciation for our work is based from a more professional stance which made her compliments that much more flattering. We discussed the actual technical aspects of the design and then she dropped the "holy shit" factor into the conversation, "Did you by any chance bless or cleanse the home?" "No, we just did our design thing although I have personally cleansed spaces that didn't feel right." This admission naturally lead into all things esoteric. I learned that Jasmine started changing her business practices years ago when she realized she needed to work with only those clients that "grooved" with her. She has been a student of metaphysical studies which primed her to her ah-hah moment. She realized that she needed to stop saying "yes" to everything and anyone that walked through the door and take on only what and who she actually loves. This shift in perception created an abundance even she couldn't even dream of. The Law of Attraction works in conjunction with energetic vibration because what happens is you attract experiences that support your vibrational level. If suddenly you decided you are done working with asshats and only want people that appreciate the talent that only you as a unique human can bring, you have just shifted your vibrational energy to a higher one. This in turns, attracts experiences that will support that reality. When Jasmine had this mental break through, her business flourished. She now meets her clients, honestly assesses their homes and creates a plan to get it to sell at the highest dollar. The home is the heart for many people so sometimes the critical assessment is painful as it may feel like a judgement on your character. Jasmine ignores the "drama," doesn't pussyfoot around her technical skills and tells the truth regardless if the potential client likes it or not. She has faith that the ones that understand her, yes may quietly cry but then gets over it and moves onto the business of offloading their biggest asset at the highest price. During this assessment, the other thing she quietly does is feel if their energy synchronizes with hers. If she doesn't feel the connection, she knows the pairing is going to be fraught in frustration and friction and she expertly declines the client.
Jasmine has these big, beautifully warm and soulful eyes that are framed with these thick, luscious eyelashes that one can trip over. She quietly cocks her head to one side and just stares at me. I suddenly feel self conscious. She clarifies her opening question, "So you didn't burn sage or salt or anything like that to her house?" "Nope." "How is it possible the energy feels so different in there?" I answered her question with a blank stare. Her big eyes light up. "Ohhhhhhhhh I get it! You must be one of those people that just changes energy by your presence too!" Her normally soothing tone changes to one of extreme shrilly excitement. She explains that with her own work, she will go into a home and just "hold the space." She will over ride the current mojo cruising through the home if it felt out of balance from hers and imprints it with her own. She then marries this with her technical abilities of design and that's her magic for selling homes. She has boasted that all her homes have sold in under 60 days when consciously she works this way. She leans over the counter and waves one confident finger at me, "You will do well because you design with your energy of passion and your love of being a service to others. You don't know it yet, but when you work this way Universe will support you."
This coincidental conversation with Jasmine unfolded the very next day after the first coincidental conversation with Anne-Marie. Two back to back conversations regarding vibration and esoteric theories with two different people. I believe, the magic of life is being aware of all the synchronicities occurring.
After Jasmine left, I started writing up a blurb on the last project we professionally shot for our social media. Again, my girl Rachael connected so deeply with these clients so it naturally translated into phenomenal work. Even though I assisted and managed from the background and as a result was fully aware of what to expect, when I first walked into that space last weekend to photograph it, I was in awe. The goosebumps prickled the skin and the sense of wonderment flowed through my system. I recalled this moment and tapped into this energy to start the write up so the first sentence emerged gracefully, "These clients were starting the next chapter in their book - living an inspired life..." I stopped typing mid sentence. Something from this sentence resonated something from deep within. For five years I have been searching for the perfect slogan for the business. In sad attempts, we clumsily and awkwardly tried three different catch phrases but honestly they were all terrible. I graduated with a degree in Business with specialization in marketing so the fact that I couldn't even cook up something clever that embodied what I did was especially embarrassing. In that moment, it finally did HIT me... like... in the face... An inspired life. Five years of fumbling through marketing slogan hell and here it is. It effortlessly unveiled itself because the coincidences started to all connect.
I find the real success in life is not what you have accomplished but rather what you have discovered by uncovering more about who you are. People who suspend their fears, live from their loves will inevitably push themselves to experience someone who is far more greater than who you originally imagined yourself to be. Those who feel trapped in a cycle of negative perceptions should fundamentally understand you create it therefore you have the power to dismantle that reality and connect with an alternative energy that brings you happiness. We are all here to live an inspired life. Today, the Canadian Olympians owned the podium and brought a nation together simply because they lived their inspired life. Because at the end of it all, we are powerfully one.
Sunday, February 23, 2014
Thursday, February 20, 2014
The Synchronocities of Coincidences - Part One
I love hearing people's stories. I remember sitting in a performance evaluation during my younger years and being told by my manager that "gossiping" was frowned upon and I should direct my energy towards more positive things. It was my first job and I was utterly confused. "If I can't talk about people, what the hell am I suppose to talk about?" My manager clarified that if I talked about people behind their backs, it's considered gossiping and promotes a negative work environment. I quipped with perhaps too much ballsy sass for a sixteen year old, "Well I wouldn't have to talk about people behind their backs if they weren't so private." Yes, I am extremely nosy. I must know what makes you click. I must understand why you choose to do the things that you do. Other people's lives fascinate me. This is probably why I have been in retail for over 19 years and still feel passionate about people. Any normal, non-gossiping person would have already off'ed themselves two years in and not make it a Game of Thrones epic career. Pair this burning desire with a "no filter" type of communication style and it's comical really what kind of information I can extract and unique situations I get myself in. Most people pussyfoot around delicate issues while my preference is to just bulldoze myself in, regardless if the welcome mat is out or not.
Anne Marie Crosby is unique in the sense that not only is she a client of ours, but also a vendor as well. I met her 5 years ago when she just moved into a waterfront Steveston condo and was working on furnishing her new home. Two years ago I learned through one of my chatty interludes that she is also an artist that creates the most gorgeous oil paintings. Inspired by the moving water and sky views from her waterfront condo, her paintings have an emotion and movement that literally jumps off the canvas and into your heart. When you look at her art, something within just connects and the goosebumps that always electrifies the skin stirs your soul. Last Spring we had the honor of showcasing 12 pieces from her collection in our store and our customers loved her work. Yesterday Anne Marie came in and it seemed like forever since I last seen her. She started off 2014 with that really awful H1N1 flu which kept her bed ridden and gasping for air for 10 weeks. We went through the usual conversations about the weather but then I got bored so I decided to ask if her condo at Predator Ridge just outside of Vernon had sold yet. Last year, she was at the stage of welcoming grandchildren into her life so she purchased a condo close to them with the plan of having a permanent place to create new memories with her growing family. I remember her telling me how she loved the condo because everything felt so right and she bought it on a whim. I found it so odd how a person a year ago loved a place and then 10 months later tries to offload it in a down market. Something felt out of snyc with the chain of events so I just had to open that big, unfiltered yap, "So, why are you selling this condo again?"
Anne Marie grew quiet, scanned the store to see if anyone was paying attention to our conversation and when she realized no one was actually in the store, she leaned in and quietly whispered, "Because I'm not suppose to be there." It was the oddest statement. Seriously, who the eff says that? I cocked my head to one side which means the cogs are turning upstairs and blurted, "Whattadya mean you're not suppose to be there? You're a grown adult, you can park your ass wherever the hell you want!" Her body language shifts from being open and relaxed to one of nervousness and anxiousness. Slowly she confides that everytime she travels to that area she gets really ill. Not just like a headache or stubs her big toe, but really, really sick. I'm not sure what compelled me but suddenly the following words just kinda rolled out of my mouth, "Are you an empath? Maybe a dark energy stuck to you and is making you sick." The words I clumsily hurled out caused Anne Marie to step back a bit and she had to grasp onto the sales desk to support her. It was like I kicked her in the gut. For the next 45 minutes, I learned that Anne Marie is actually a student of energy healing and is being mentored by a woman who uses this modality to move blocked energy from people to ease their pain. The theory is that if one holds onto to negative energy caused by emotions such as resentment, anger and fear it would block your entire flow manifesting into various forms of illnesses. Think of it like the plumbing in your home. If something is blocking your pipes, no water will flow through the system and what happens is all that backed up shit erupts into your home. An energy healer in this case is like the plumber. Using different techniques, they can spot the blockage, remove it and your system is good to go. No more shit wreaking havoc in your home.
Empathic people or empaths for short are highly sensitive, intuitive people that naturally have an ability to pick up other people's and place's energies. They are like a giant walking sponge and just soaks up whatever they are in. I suspect I must be a weird derivative of this definition because although I am intuitive to energy I don't soak up other people's juju, I just read it. I remember Annar (a psychic) mentioning that my energy level is abnormally high and she got a kick recharging off of me during one of our readings when she felt drained. I also remember Trevor (a Master Starseed) saying I needed to ground my excess energy if I didn't want to fry my system. Or perhaps my ego is so big that I just don't notice the "little" energies around me because clearly I am so much cooler. Hmmm... ya that "cool" statement never really worked for me in high school either when I lamely tried it so I'm not sure why I would try it in my mid thirties. Note to self, drop the cool facade. Okay, well whatever the reason is, I am not an empath. Empaths taking the route of servicing others walk a tight line of spiritual suicide if they have not mastered the art of purging the negative energies to protect their life force. There are dark forces in the world and they gravitate to empaths like a bug to a light (notice the clever metaphor there).
As our conversation deepens, it occurred to me a bizarre coincidence. My other client, Joy Stewart (a channeller, yoga teacher and reikki master) was directed by a higher source to move from Steveston to just outside of Kelowna to help fix the energetic grid and hold the space for Mother Earth. Apparently, Lake Okanagan lies on an energy vortex which amplifies energy. For the studies behind it read: http://www.okinhealth.com/articles/earthstar-wheel-okanagan-lake-louise-leylines-vortex. It is suspected that this deep lake actually has a large crystal bed beneath it and in the last decade it has been polluted with dark energy. Joy was sent there to slowly clear this block and restore the positive flow in the overall movement of the global energy. I remembered her mentioning that really, dark forces are drawn to this zone at this time but she wasn't scared because she had her "upstairs" team guiding her through it. I mention this odd connection to Anne-Marie and her hands started shaking. The ah-hah moment unveiled itself and it became clear why she was getting sick every time she travelled to this region. The relief that it wasn't just her was cathartic. My mouth opened and I dropped a bomb, "Don't you think it's weird you bought this condo on a whim and now you want to sell it but you can't? It's like the Universe is conspiring against you so maybe you're not suppose to just run away from that area. Maybe you are suppose to actually team up with Joy and help restore that zone." Anne Marie drops an even bigger bomb, "You know what's really weird? I woke up this morning and even though I didn't feel well I just had to walk into Steveston. I got my coffee and then thought, I should check out the store not because I needed anything but because I wanted to lift my spirits. Something about this store always does that for me and I always thought it was the way you put everything together. Today I finally realized it's actually because its your energy. And I'm an energy healer and didn't even realize that!" The store goes quiet. We both look at each other in deep thought.
I come home literally buzzing by my bizarre yet wonderfully crazy conversation and of course, I expose Steph to my story. I tell her I love how the Universe deals these synchronicity cards. Even though we're on the phone, I can tell she is rolling her eyes and she skeptically says, "It's just a coincidence."
Anne Marie Crosby is unique in the sense that not only is she a client of ours, but also a vendor as well. I met her 5 years ago when she just moved into a waterfront Steveston condo and was working on furnishing her new home. Two years ago I learned through one of my chatty interludes that she is also an artist that creates the most gorgeous oil paintings. Inspired by the moving water and sky views from her waterfront condo, her paintings have an emotion and movement that literally jumps off the canvas and into your heart. When you look at her art, something within just connects and the goosebumps that always electrifies the skin stirs your soul. Last Spring we had the honor of showcasing 12 pieces from her collection in our store and our customers loved her work. Yesterday Anne Marie came in and it seemed like forever since I last seen her. She started off 2014 with that really awful H1N1 flu which kept her bed ridden and gasping for air for 10 weeks. We went through the usual conversations about the weather but then I got bored so I decided to ask if her condo at Predator Ridge just outside of Vernon had sold yet. Last year, she was at the stage of welcoming grandchildren into her life so she purchased a condo close to them with the plan of having a permanent place to create new memories with her growing family. I remember her telling me how she loved the condo because everything felt so right and she bought it on a whim. I found it so odd how a person a year ago loved a place and then 10 months later tries to offload it in a down market. Something felt out of snyc with the chain of events so I just had to open that big, unfiltered yap, "So, why are you selling this condo again?"
Anne Marie grew quiet, scanned the store to see if anyone was paying attention to our conversation and when she realized no one was actually in the store, she leaned in and quietly whispered, "Because I'm not suppose to be there." It was the oddest statement. Seriously, who the eff says that? I cocked my head to one side which means the cogs are turning upstairs and blurted, "Whattadya mean you're not suppose to be there? You're a grown adult, you can park your ass wherever the hell you want!" Her body language shifts from being open and relaxed to one of nervousness and anxiousness. Slowly she confides that everytime she travels to that area she gets really ill. Not just like a headache or stubs her big toe, but really, really sick. I'm not sure what compelled me but suddenly the following words just kinda rolled out of my mouth, "Are you an empath? Maybe a dark energy stuck to you and is making you sick." The words I clumsily hurled out caused Anne Marie to step back a bit and she had to grasp onto the sales desk to support her. It was like I kicked her in the gut. For the next 45 minutes, I learned that Anne Marie is actually a student of energy healing and is being mentored by a woman who uses this modality to move blocked energy from people to ease their pain. The theory is that if one holds onto to negative energy caused by emotions such as resentment, anger and fear it would block your entire flow manifesting into various forms of illnesses. Think of it like the plumbing in your home. If something is blocking your pipes, no water will flow through the system and what happens is all that backed up shit erupts into your home. An energy healer in this case is like the plumber. Using different techniques, they can spot the blockage, remove it and your system is good to go. No more shit wreaking havoc in your home.
Empathic people or empaths for short are highly sensitive, intuitive people that naturally have an ability to pick up other people's and place's energies. They are like a giant walking sponge and just soaks up whatever they are in. I suspect I must be a weird derivative of this definition because although I am intuitive to energy I don't soak up other people's juju, I just read it. I remember Annar (a psychic) mentioning that my energy level is abnormally high and she got a kick recharging off of me during one of our readings when she felt drained. I also remember Trevor (a Master Starseed) saying I needed to ground my excess energy if I didn't want to fry my system. Or perhaps my ego is so big that I just don't notice the "little" energies around me because clearly I am so much cooler. Hmmm... ya that "cool" statement never really worked for me in high school either when I lamely tried it so I'm not sure why I would try it in my mid thirties. Note to self, drop the cool facade. Okay, well whatever the reason is, I am not an empath. Empaths taking the route of servicing others walk a tight line of spiritual suicide if they have not mastered the art of purging the negative energies to protect their life force. There are dark forces in the world and they gravitate to empaths like a bug to a light (notice the clever metaphor there).
As our conversation deepens, it occurred to me a bizarre coincidence. My other client, Joy Stewart (a channeller, yoga teacher and reikki master) was directed by a higher source to move from Steveston to just outside of Kelowna to help fix the energetic grid and hold the space for Mother Earth. Apparently, Lake Okanagan lies on an energy vortex which amplifies energy. For the studies behind it read: http://www.okinhealth.com/articles/earthstar-wheel-okanagan-lake-louise-leylines-vortex. It is suspected that this deep lake actually has a large crystal bed beneath it and in the last decade it has been polluted with dark energy. Joy was sent there to slowly clear this block and restore the positive flow in the overall movement of the global energy. I remembered her mentioning that really, dark forces are drawn to this zone at this time but she wasn't scared because she had her "upstairs" team guiding her through it. I mention this odd connection to Anne-Marie and her hands started shaking. The ah-hah moment unveiled itself and it became clear why she was getting sick every time she travelled to this region. The relief that it wasn't just her was cathartic. My mouth opened and I dropped a bomb, "Don't you think it's weird you bought this condo on a whim and now you want to sell it but you can't? It's like the Universe is conspiring against you so maybe you're not suppose to just run away from that area. Maybe you are suppose to actually team up with Joy and help restore that zone." Anne Marie drops an even bigger bomb, "You know what's really weird? I woke up this morning and even though I didn't feel well I just had to walk into Steveston. I got my coffee and then thought, I should check out the store not because I needed anything but because I wanted to lift my spirits. Something about this store always does that for me and I always thought it was the way you put everything together. Today I finally realized it's actually because its your energy. And I'm an energy healer and didn't even realize that!" The store goes quiet. We both look at each other in deep thought.
I come home literally buzzing by my bizarre yet wonderfully crazy conversation and of course, I expose Steph to my story. I tell her I love how the Universe deals these synchronicity cards. Even though we're on the phone, I can tell she is rolling her eyes and she skeptically says, "It's just a coincidence."
Sunday, February 16, 2014
The U-Turn
Once in a while, the Universe likes to slap me upside the head. Sometimes I'm clever enough to get my head out of my ass to appreciate the redirection to the path of least resistance but most times I'm too thick skulled to notice. The beautiful thing of physically aging is you realize that as you get older, you don't heal as fast as you used to. Those days of getting shitfaced, pulling an all nighter and going to work the next morning are not only just painfully ugly, but the option of death always seems more appealing then putting in eight hours wrapped around a toilet. I'm not a spring chicken anymore. I can't afford to be stupid because my recovery time as an old person is no longer on my side. After much experimenting I have come to realize that I just need to roll with it and only when I LET IT GO, is when I realized I actually suffer a lot less.
You cannot control everything. You are not responsible for everyone's happiness. What people think of you, doesn't matter. Just take a leap of faith in a higher power that everything that you were meant to experience will just happen. Just LET IT GO...
I, Madame Tasker, Goal Setter Extraordinare, Textbook A Personality has decided to do a u-turn on this Earth Experiment. I have been deconstructing systems that no longer serve me. Simultaneously I have been creating alternative perceptions that I enjoy more. One of these perception shifts is simply choosing to focus on helping people find more happiness in their lives. This is a natural function in the business I am currently operating because I'm entrusted to create beautiful spaces. As per the HGTV channels, there is a lot of drama that goes with interior design because you're spending a sizeable chunk of change. Anytime there is this level of money invested, emotions are always high when things go sideways. I do my best to deliver on our commitment of customer satisfaction but let's face it... shit does happens. How you apply that shit separates you from the clever farmer that uses it to fertilize her abundant crops to the miserable hoarder that was buried alive in it.
This past Thursday was the most bizarre single day that has every happened in my five years of being an entrepreneur. Two months ago I ordered the wrong size couch for a client. In addition to this, the factory just had a flood so even if they wanted to help me fix my embarrassing error by expediting the re-order, they said it would take two months to get back to production. Feeling absolutely awful for my client's inconvenience I offered him the incorrect sofa as a loaner and extended an extra 10% refund once the new one was delivered. Two months later, the sofa arrives and he comes in to tell me personally that both his wife and him are just so happy with our level of service and design that he doesn't want to have a 10% refund. Instead he said, "Just keep the money." My jaw dropped to the ground. I was speechless. When I awkwardly rebuttled he just replied that if I feel that bad keeping the money then feel free to make a donation to my charity of choice. I gave him a giant hug and he just said, "No thank you. You have no idea how appreciative we are to have your team help us."
After he left, another couple that was unhappy with the way their custom furniture was stained came in. We had exchanged some emails prior regarding their concern so I already knew he and his wife were ready for a fight. In conflict management I have learned it always best to let the disgruntled customer say everything that they need to say without interruption to ease the friction and pacify the aggression. Essentially they were unhappy with the uneveness of the stain and as a result had a need to find EVERYTHING wrong with the cabinet. I see this negative perception occur everyday. Once someone decides that something is wrong, they will shift their preception to see only the negative things to support their claim. They are so hell bent on their stance of being right that even after logic and facts are introduced they still refuse to accept any other perception. This really is a choice in life. After listening to their concerns for twenty minutes I professionally shared my opinion which essentially was not what they wanted to hear. I stood behind my manufacturer because although they do make errors, this was not one of them. This was a simple case of the customer having expectations that were unrealistic for this product so I attempted to manage it through a detailed explanation of woodworking to systematically debunk their negative stronghold. Anedoctally, I told them that many customers love that look that they just so happen to label as "poor craftmanship" and even request it. I can tell by their body language that they didn't believe me. After an hour of talking in circles I finally put my foot down and said, "I know you are unhappy about the stain and I am willing to have a high end refinisher that works with antiques redo the stain for you at my cost because at the end of the day, I want you to love your furniture like all my other customers. The product is not a defect and to show my commitment behind it, I will happily refund you your money because I confidentally know I can sell these pieces off the floor in a couple of months. I don't want you to feel like you're being held hostage with something you hate. I will not however give you an extra discount because there is nothing wrong with the cabinets." They bedgrudgingly took up on my offer to get the cabinet re-stained but I'm sure they went home that night to make voodoo dolls of me.
After that heated debate, one of my favorite customer comes in as bubbly and chirpy as usual. She recently purchased two armchairs from us that had an issue with the zippers. She comes in with her cute little son in tow and goes to the floor model of her armchair to inspect it in an attempt to understand why her models are failing. She squeals in delight that she found $2.25 when she removed the seat cushion. I laughed really loudly because back in my IKEA days working in sofas, I used to find all sorts of change in the couches when I had to straighten out the cushions. Strangely enough, I never actually found any money in my own store. She gives me the change to which I said, "Nope it's yours baby. Finder keepers." She refused to keep the money and said, "Go treat yourself to a coffee. You deserve it!" I give her an update of where we are at on her chairs, she happily thanks us for being on top of things and she tells me about some other things she needs to finish off her home.
After she left, I get an email from my delivery team telling me one of our manufacturers dropped the ball yet again and the repaired dining table for another customer was not ready because "they forgot about it." This poor customer bought a table and only one of the leaves fit. We went through hell and back trying to get the defective leaf temporarily fixed in time for Christmas but in the end, the delivery company screwed the pooch and forgot to drop it off. She made it very clear that we ruined her Christmas dinner because two people couldn't sit at the table. To make matters worse, the manufacturer wanted the entire table back to ensure the leaves are a perfect fit and they could only commit to a seven day turn around. After another phone call explaining she would be without a table for a week and refunding her delivery fee, she politely lets us know she is extremely upset but understands. Now after reading this awesome email, I had the pleasant opportunity to let her know that her dining table is going to take two weeks. I attempt to soften the blow by offering 50% off the matching bench she was originally eyeing. She replies that not only did I ruin her Christmas, but her Family Day and now she can't hold an Olympics function too. Wow, who knew a missing table wreaked as much havoc in the world as a zombie apocolypse. She professionally lets me know she understands it's not our fault but she will not be ordering anything else from us. I'm pretty sure there will be a hashtag #mylifeisruined posted to Twitter soon.
After that lovely interaction, I followed-up on a customer that complained her bed slats broke. After listening to her, it occured to me that she just put her mattress straight onto the slats and of course it broke because the bed was designed to be used in conjunction with a boxspring. I let her know that the product would not have failed if it was used properly as it was intended to be designed. She starts screaming that no one told her that and if she knew she would have never bought the bed because she doesn't own a boxspring. Ironically, for emphasis she said, "If I wanted to have my furniture fall apart I would have spent less money at crappy IKEA instead a lot of money." What she doesn't know is that I have a photographic memory. During the summer, this same woman asked me that exact question and I educated her on how this model needed a boxspring. At that time she also asked if we had a lay away plan and I politely let her know that we didn't. She commented that it was stupid and she wanted to talk to the person that was in charge. I told her she was talking to her. Then in the fall, she came back and asked about the boxpsring again and asked if she can have free delivery. I politely let her know that the floor model was 50% off and I usually give one promotion but not both. In this instance the savings of $1,300 was more than the $89.25 delivery. Again, she said my rules were stupid and left. In the winter, I guess she finally saved enough money and came in to get her dream bed. Fast forward to two months later and she's telling me no one told her squat about the boxspring. I just politely told her everyone in my store knows this model requires a boxspring. She replies, "It's he said, she said and I'm not getting into with you." I told her I know for a fact we shared this information and recant the two times I personally told her. I have impeccable memory, especially when people affectionately call me stupid. She's in shock at my recollection. I could have left her high and dry but I do the right thing regardless of her negativity. I choose to ignore her lies and her poor attitude and decide to kill her with kindness. To assist her, It tell her I will personally drive out to Surrey to pick up a slatted queen base that will convert her bed to a platform one, drive it back to her home, help her install it and only charge her for the wholesale cost of the part. All of a sudden I'm the best thing since slice bread.
After her call, another client comes in and she's all smiles. We have been working with her for almost a year and this poor girl finally installs this pendant light that has been on back order for 8 months just to find out that it actually doesn't work. I feel so awful about it and apologize profusely for the run of bad luck. She's visibly bummed but just brushes it off and says, "I know we'll figure out something, I'm not going to stress it." Instead she tells me how much she loves everything so far that our talented Rachael has done and we debate about the challenges of modern day parenting, her community and how we secretly want to run away to Bali to avoid the expectations. I help her with her rug into her car and she gives me a big hug.
It's finally closing time and after a day like today, nothing would have felt better than going straight home and opening a bottle of wine. Unfortunately I have promised to drop off a stag head to a client because I was hoping she would install it prior to our professional photo shoot of her home on Saturday. I trudge off hoping the transaction is quick and painless. The good news is she loves it, the bad news is she asked me to install the wall decor. Liability wise I'm not suppose to be installing shit but I break down and whip out her drill, hammer, drywall anchors, screws, level and pencil and hang the stunning stag head. She lives in Ottawa but has a recreational home here and we start chatting about her husband who is a laser eye surgeon. I commented if he was based here, I would go get my eyes laser corrected since I'm so nervous about doing it. She looks at me and says, "If you ever come to Ottawa, he would do your eyes for free because he thinks so highly of you and all the beautiful work you have done for us."
Shit happens. It doesn't matter if you're a saint or you're an evil internet troller, the one constant is no one escapes shit. The beauty of shit is it is in the eye of the beholder. The highs and lows of humanity albeit intensely, beautifully played out in an eight hour shift and at the end of it, I had the biggest smile because a) I finally had my wine and b) my perception stayed focussed on my first and last interaction. The rest, I'm just letting it go... This is the big plot twist in the Book Of Huong. I have taken a U-TURN because once upon a time as a child I did believe in trusting something bigger than me.
You cannot control everything. You are not responsible for everyone's happiness. What people think of you, doesn't matter. Just take a leap of faith in a higher power that everything that you were meant to experience will just happen. Just LET IT GO...
I, Madame Tasker, Goal Setter Extraordinare, Textbook A Personality has decided to do a u-turn on this Earth Experiment. I have been deconstructing systems that no longer serve me. Simultaneously I have been creating alternative perceptions that I enjoy more. One of these perception shifts is simply choosing to focus on helping people find more happiness in their lives. This is a natural function in the business I am currently operating because I'm entrusted to create beautiful spaces. As per the HGTV channels, there is a lot of drama that goes with interior design because you're spending a sizeable chunk of change. Anytime there is this level of money invested, emotions are always high when things go sideways. I do my best to deliver on our commitment of customer satisfaction but let's face it... shit does happens. How you apply that shit separates you from the clever farmer that uses it to fertilize her abundant crops to the miserable hoarder that was buried alive in it.
This past Thursday was the most bizarre single day that has every happened in my five years of being an entrepreneur. Two months ago I ordered the wrong size couch for a client. In addition to this, the factory just had a flood so even if they wanted to help me fix my embarrassing error by expediting the re-order, they said it would take two months to get back to production. Feeling absolutely awful for my client's inconvenience I offered him the incorrect sofa as a loaner and extended an extra 10% refund once the new one was delivered. Two months later, the sofa arrives and he comes in to tell me personally that both his wife and him are just so happy with our level of service and design that he doesn't want to have a 10% refund. Instead he said, "Just keep the money." My jaw dropped to the ground. I was speechless. When I awkwardly rebuttled he just replied that if I feel that bad keeping the money then feel free to make a donation to my charity of choice. I gave him a giant hug and he just said, "No thank you. You have no idea how appreciative we are to have your team help us."
After he left, another couple that was unhappy with the way their custom furniture was stained came in. We had exchanged some emails prior regarding their concern so I already knew he and his wife were ready for a fight. In conflict management I have learned it always best to let the disgruntled customer say everything that they need to say without interruption to ease the friction and pacify the aggression. Essentially they were unhappy with the uneveness of the stain and as a result had a need to find EVERYTHING wrong with the cabinet. I see this negative perception occur everyday. Once someone decides that something is wrong, they will shift their preception to see only the negative things to support their claim. They are so hell bent on their stance of being right that even after logic and facts are introduced they still refuse to accept any other perception. This really is a choice in life. After listening to their concerns for twenty minutes I professionally shared my opinion which essentially was not what they wanted to hear. I stood behind my manufacturer because although they do make errors, this was not one of them. This was a simple case of the customer having expectations that were unrealistic for this product so I attempted to manage it through a detailed explanation of woodworking to systematically debunk their negative stronghold. Anedoctally, I told them that many customers love that look that they just so happen to label as "poor craftmanship" and even request it. I can tell by their body language that they didn't believe me. After an hour of talking in circles I finally put my foot down and said, "I know you are unhappy about the stain and I am willing to have a high end refinisher that works with antiques redo the stain for you at my cost because at the end of the day, I want you to love your furniture like all my other customers. The product is not a defect and to show my commitment behind it, I will happily refund you your money because I confidentally know I can sell these pieces off the floor in a couple of months. I don't want you to feel like you're being held hostage with something you hate. I will not however give you an extra discount because there is nothing wrong with the cabinets." They bedgrudgingly took up on my offer to get the cabinet re-stained but I'm sure they went home that night to make voodoo dolls of me.
After that heated debate, one of my favorite customer comes in as bubbly and chirpy as usual. She recently purchased two armchairs from us that had an issue with the zippers. She comes in with her cute little son in tow and goes to the floor model of her armchair to inspect it in an attempt to understand why her models are failing. She squeals in delight that she found $2.25 when she removed the seat cushion. I laughed really loudly because back in my IKEA days working in sofas, I used to find all sorts of change in the couches when I had to straighten out the cushions. Strangely enough, I never actually found any money in my own store. She gives me the change to which I said, "Nope it's yours baby. Finder keepers." She refused to keep the money and said, "Go treat yourself to a coffee. You deserve it!" I give her an update of where we are at on her chairs, she happily thanks us for being on top of things and she tells me about some other things she needs to finish off her home.
After she left, I get an email from my delivery team telling me one of our manufacturers dropped the ball yet again and the repaired dining table for another customer was not ready because "they forgot about it." This poor customer bought a table and only one of the leaves fit. We went through hell and back trying to get the defective leaf temporarily fixed in time for Christmas but in the end, the delivery company screwed the pooch and forgot to drop it off. She made it very clear that we ruined her Christmas dinner because two people couldn't sit at the table. To make matters worse, the manufacturer wanted the entire table back to ensure the leaves are a perfect fit and they could only commit to a seven day turn around. After another phone call explaining she would be without a table for a week and refunding her delivery fee, she politely lets us know she is extremely upset but understands. Now after reading this awesome email, I had the pleasant opportunity to let her know that her dining table is going to take two weeks. I attempt to soften the blow by offering 50% off the matching bench she was originally eyeing. She replies that not only did I ruin her Christmas, but her Family Day and now she can't hold an Olympics function too. Wow, who knew a missing table wreaked as much havoc in the world as a zombie apocolypse. She professionally lets me know she understands it's not our fault but she will not be ordering anything else from us. I'm pretty sure there will be a hashtag #mylifeisruined posted to Twitter soon.
After that lovely interaction, I followed-up on a customer that complained her bed slats broke. After listening to her, it occured to me that she just put her mattress straight onto the slats and of course it broke because the bed was designed to be used in conjunction with a boxspring. I let her know that the product would not have failed if it was used properly as it was intended to be designed. She starts screaming that no one told her that and if she knew she would have never bought the bed because she doesn't own a boxspring. Ironically, for emphasis she said, "If I wanted to have my furniture fall apart I would have spent less money at crappy IKEA instead a lot of money." What she doesn't know is that I have a photographic memory. During the summer, this same woman asked me that exact question and I educated her on how this model needed a boxspring. At that time she also asked if we had a lay away plan and I politely let her know that we didn't. She commented that it was stupid and she wanted to talk to the person that was in charge. I told her she was talking to her. Then in the fall, she came back and asked about the boxpsring again and asked if she can have free delivery. I politely let her know that the floor model was 50% off and I usually give one promotion but not both. In this instance the savings of $1,300 was more than the $89.25 delivery. Again, she said my rules were stupid and left. In the winter, I guess she finally saved enough money and came in to get her dream bed. Fast forward to two months later and she's telling me no one told her squat about the boxspring. I just politely told her everyone in my store knows this model requires a boxspring. She replies, "It's he said, she said and I'm not getting into with you." I told her I know for a fact we shared this information and recant the two times I personally told her. I have impeccable memory, especially when people affectionately call me stupid. She's in shock at my recollection. I could have left her high and dry but I do the right thing regardless of her negativity. I choose to ignore her lies and her poor attitude and decide to kill her with kindness. To assist her, It tell her I will personally drive out to Surrey to pick up a slatted queen base that will convert her bed to a platform one, drive it back to her home, help her install it and only charge her for the wholesale cost of the part. All of a sudden I'm the best thing since slice bread.
After her call, another client comes in and she's all smiles. We have been working with her for almost a year and this poor girl finally installs this pendant light that has been on back order for 8 months just to find out that it actually doesn't work. I feel so awful about it and apologize profusely for the run of bad luck. She's visibly bummed but just brushes it off and says, "I know we'll figure out something, I'm not going to stress it." Instead she tells me how much she loves everything so far that our talented Rachael has done and we debate about the challenges of modern day parenting, her community and how we secretly want to run away to Bali to avoid the expectations. I help her with her rug into her car and she gives me a big hug.
It's finally closing time and after a day like today, nothing would have felt better than going straight home and opening a bottle of wine. Unfortunately I have promised to drop off a stag head to a client because I was hoping she would install it prior to our professional photo shoot of her home on Saturday. I trudge off hoping the transaction is quick and painless. The good news is she loves it, the bad news is she asked me to install the wall decor. Liability wise I'm not suppose to be installing shit but I break down and whip out her drill, hammer, drywall anchors, screws, level and pencil and hang the stunning stag head. She lives in Ottawa but has a recreational home here and we start chatting about her husband who is a laser eye surgeon. I commented if he was based here, I would go get my eyes laser corrected since I'm so nervous about doing it. She looks at me and says, "If you ever come to Ottawa, he would do your eyes for free because he thinks so highly of you and all the beautiful work you have done for us."
Shit happens. It doesn't matter if you're a saint or you're an evil internet troller, the one constant is no one escapes shit. The beauty of shit is it is in the eye of the beholder. The highs and lows of humanity albeit intensely, beautifully played out in an eight hour shift and at the end of it, I had the biggest smile because a) I finally had my wine and b) my perception stayed focussed on my first and last interaction. The rest, I'm just letting it go... This is the big plot twist in the Book Of Huong. I have taken a U-TURN because once upon a time as a child I did believe in trusting something bigger than me.
Saturday, December 28, 2013
2014 New Years Resolution
I have a love hate relationship with the end of the year. I love reviewing what experiences transpired during each of the 365 days of the year and hate it when I realized I missed a majority of my goals. Taking inventory of your experiences is just as painful as taking inventory at IKEA. The inventory process at IKEA goes archaically like this. A piece of paper says I have 15,367 pieces of light bulbs floating somewhere in the square footage that is equal to 20 football fields. A team of three counters plus myself must somehow magically count the same number while miraculously not add to the shrinkage of lost inventory by breaking any of the said light bulbs that had been dumped generously through 13 pallets and inevitably hidden in all the nooks and crannies of the IKEA abyss. Mix in the fact that I am the world's worst bean counter. EVER. I am so talented that I can count a pile three times and get four different numbers for it. Ironically I can balance the budget of a $15 million dollar sales forecast to an accuracy of a 3% variance rate. Clearly I was hardwired for a bigger picture.
Real life inventory parallels the same level of insanity. We are conditioned to achieve a set of benchmarks regardless if it brings you personal pleasure. If you don't meet these benchmarks than society deems you as a failure. Sometimes you meet these benchmarks and you still feel like a failure. I'm starting to think goal setting is a definitive way of setting you up to fail. It took me 35 years but this 2014, I'm letting go of this futile exercise of failing. The vicious circle of insanity is going to stop.
I watched a video recently about some high profiled channellers (http://vimeo.com/38831579). In this extraordinary video about six humans that allow their physical bodies to be essentially "possessed" by a higher source of energy a thought provoking spin on the popular law of attraction emerged. One of the channellers, Geoffrey Hoppe channels an angelic being named Tobias. At the 22:17 mark of the lengthy, in depth video Tobias passionately lectures that setting goals "is so mental... so yesterday... so 80's... It is a mental exercise of frustration set in futility because in actuality you will attract everything that you had originally set out to experience in this lifetime." This simple statement knocked me off my well conditioned pedestal that it took me a week to digest this powerful mindset.
Take this analogy. You decided that you would like a gift and with the wonderful help of society, nagging parents, Kim Kardashian and the well meaning mentors in your life, you deemed that your gift should be in a 8" x 8" box, wrapped in vegan paper that never was tested on animals and tied neatly with a recyclable, GMO-free bow. What you didn't know, is that the Universe creates the form that best assists you on your journey here so sends you not one, but like 50 packages. Most people are so focused on recognizing only that one package that they actually miss all the other 49 Universe gifts or even worse, open up that one gift to discover that it wasn't all that it was cracked up to be. These disappointments are created from expectations. Expectations are formed when you set goals. Setting goals, narrows your vision to a single target so everything else is tuned out. You miss the beautiful depth of your journey which are all the small moments and ultimately miss the many packages of happiness continually delivered to you courtesy of the Universe.
I just came back from hanging at the pub with my sister and Jenn, my husband's second lesbian work wife (long story better fitted to a different blog post). I announced to them that in 2014, I am rebelling and not setting any goals. You should have seen the reaction on their faces. It was like if I told them I was giving up meat, moving to Antarctica and selling my organs to the black market. I mean, don't get me wrong... I get it. I am a hardcore, textbook Type A personality. I enjoy ticking off to-do lists, relish in not just achieving goals but crushing them and this go to survival skill is so ingrained in everything I do that it's as natural as breathing. Hell, I am so brilliant at this task that I can give lectures on the art of setting and achieving your goals in my sleep.
Something funny happened along the way though. That art no longer brought me the same level of happiness. I started feeling frustrated, disappointed, angry and then that gamut of emotions lead me to feeling anxious, worried and then I felt alone. I started to second guess my goals, over analyze my life and question EVERYTHING. I get why the older people deemed the thirties as the grind. You get into a routine of expectations set out by society but then your Spirit gets so antsy that you're not living the TRUE story that you wrote. It's a constant battle of doing what you want versus what is expected. Instead, other factors and systems are driving your insincere story and defining your dishonest life. Beauty manufacturers and my mother bombard me and tell me I'm not beautiful unless I lose 20 pounds. Marriage counsellors and Dr. Phil tells me that unless I have sex an average of once a week I am not in a healthy and loving relationship. My accountant advises me that unless my sales goal is not growing by 15% each year I am stagnant. Lululemon preaches that unless I jump off a cliff and suspend myself in a constant state of an adrenaline rush then I'm boring. Twitter reminds me that if I'm not plugged in then I was so two seconds ago. My great grandparents warned me that if I don't save up money now for my children's education now then their future is doomed. Expedia emails me that if I don't travel the world then I live a sheltered life and might as well live under a rock. Damn... what a depressing state.
I have decided to change the game playing in this life. I am going to climb the loftiest mountain, throw a proverbial wish into the Universe and park my ass their until it boomerangs back to me. I am done with setting goals, pushing myself further by making myself faster, stronger, braver, skinnier, richer, have bigger boobs... done. I am going to accept that everything I have right now is everything I need. I am going to stop comparing my situation to other people. I am going to lower my expectations and carry the humility that I don't need to know everything. I am going to have faith that my Spirit will attract whatever I had pre-determined was needed on this journey and just roll with it. In this quiet, I am going to finally open all 50 packages gifted to me from the Universe. I am positive that it is in this gratitude that real happiness will emerge.
Real life inventory parallels the same level of insanity. We are conditioned to achieve a set of benchmarks regardless if it brings you personal pleasure. If you don't meet these benchmarks than society deems you as a failure. Sometimes you meet these benchmarks and you still feel like a failure. I'm starting to think goal setting is a definitive way of setting you up to fail. It took me 35 years but this 2014, I'm letting go of this futile exercise of failing. The vicious circle of insanity is going to stop.
I watched a video recently about some high profiled channellers (http://vimeo.com/38831579). In this extraordinary video about six humans that allow their physical bodies to be essentially "possessed" by a higher source of energy a thought provoking spin on the popular law of attraction emerged. One of the channellers, Geoffrey Hoppe channels an angelic being named Tobias. At the 22:17 mark of the lengthy, in depth video Tobias passionately lectures that setting goals "is so mental... so yesterday... so 80's... It is a mental exercise of frustration set in futility because in actuality you will attract everything that you had originally set out to experience in this lifetime." This simple statement knocked me off my well conditioned pedestal that it took me a week to digest this powerful mindset.
Take this analogy. You decided that you would like a gift and with the wonderful help of society, nagging parents, Kim Kardashian and the well meaning mentors in your life, you deemed that your gift should be in a 8" x 8" box, wrapped in vegan paper that never was tested on animals and tied neatly with a recyclable, GMO-free bow. What you didn't know, is that the Universe creates the form that best assists you on your journey here so sends you not one, but like 50 packages. Most people are so focused on recognizing only that one package that they actually miss all the other 49 Universe gifts or even worse, open up that one gift to discover that it wasn't all that it was cracked up to be. These disappointments are created from expectations. Expectations are formed when you set goals. Setting goals, narrows your vision to a single target so everything else is tuned out. You miss the beautiful depth of your journey which are all the small moments and ultimately miss the many packages of happiness continually delivered to you courtesy of the Universe.
I just came back from hanging at the pub with my sister and Jenn, my husband's second lesbian work wife (long story better fitted to a different blog post). I announced to them that in 2014, I am rebelling and not setting any goals. You should have seen the reaction on their faces. It was like if I told them I was giving up meat, moving to Antarctica and selling my organs to the black market. I mean, don't get me wrong... I get it. I am a hardcore, textbook Type A personality. I enjoy ticking off to-do lists, relish in not just achieving goals but crushing them and this go to survival skill is so ingrained in everything I do that it's as natural as breathing. Hell, I am so brilliant at this task that I can give lectures on the art of setting and achieving your goals in my sleep.
Something funny happened along the way though. That art no longer brought me the same level of happiness. I started feeling frustrated, disappointed, angry and then that gamut of emotions lead me to feeling anxious, worried and then I felt alone. I started to second guess my goals, over analyze my life and question EVERYTHING. I get why the older people deemed the thirties as the grind. You get into a routine of expectations set out by society but then your Spirit gets so antsy that you're not living the TRUE story that you wrote. It's a constant battle of doing what you want versus what is expected. Instead, other factors and systems are driving your insincere story and defining your dishonest life. Beauty manufacturers and my mother bombard me and tell me I'm not beautiful unless I lose 20 pounds. Marriage counsellors and Dr. Phil tells me that unless I have sex an average of once a week I am not in a healthy and loving relationship. My accountant advises me that unless my sales goal is not growing by 15% each year I am stagnant. Lululemon preaches that unless I jump off a cliff and suspend myself in a constant state of an adrenaline rush then I'm boring. Twitter reminds me that if I'm not plugged in then I was so two seconds ago. My great grandparents warned me that if I don't save up money now for my children's education now then their future is doomed. Expedia emails me that if I don't travel the world then I live a sheltered life and might as well live under a rock. Damn... what a depressing state.
I have decided to change the game playing in this life. I am going to climb the loftiest mountain, throw a proverbial wish into the Universe and park my ass their until it boomerangs back to me. I am done with setting goals, pushing myself further by making myself faster, stronger, braver, skinnier, richer, have bigger boobs... done. I am going to accept that everything I have right now is everything I need. I am going to stop comparing my situation to other people. I am going to lower my expectations and carry the humility that I don't need to know everything. I am going to have faith that my Spirit will attract whatever I had pre-determined was needed on this journey and just roll with it. In this quiet, I am going to finally open all 50 packages gifted to me from the Universe. I am positive that it is in this gratitude that real happiness will emerge.
Sunday, November 17, 2013
Modern Parenting
Call me old fashion. Actually, scratch that. Call me old school since old fashion means my parent's generation and I want to be clear I am one generation cooler. But what the hell happened to this generation of kids and more deeply, what the hell happened to the "cool" old school parents that are raising this generation of kids?
If you follow my blog, you'll know that three things consume my time. My kids, the general population of idiots and spirituality. I obsess about the insanity of these three elements and naturally it overflows into my writing which I find therapeutic in organizing all my thoughts. Writing helps me from joining the League of Shadow Assassins and I believe, on some small level, helps those reading, from culling the human herd. Yes misery loves company and insanity is safer in numbers.
One of my quirks of being a parent is that I actually don't seek out other parents to hang out with. When Tai was born, I used to walk a lot with him outdoors and I would always run into a fleet of "yummy mummies". Dressed head to toe in Lululemon yoga gear, pushing babies in their thousand dollars strollers, these packs of women would meet on the boardwalk in Steveston and sweat off their last ten "baby pounds" in high impact cardio flair as the boot camp woman draws blood and yells for an extra minute of running on the spot. Glistening in gorgeous sweat, they would all gather afterwards at Starbucks, drinking their skinny latte and discussing the newest Pinterest recipe for gluten free, organic, vegan cookie recipes using free range eggs because it's only like, two calories. Don't get me wrong, all these mommies seem really sweet and well educated in all things mommies and I have been invited many times to join the club as they are a very inclusive group. Personally, I would rather run naked through a mile of hell fire then obsess with parenting on this level of detail. My survival skill was and has always been to avoid this group of hyper parenting. Besides, who wants to feel like you're lower than a crack whore because you are THAT parent that dishes up sugary bowls of cereal chased by full-fat cake for dinner and do it all graciously guilt free?
As I add to my family and Tai eases into the school system I am yet again assaulted with the hyper parents of the world. Luckily for us, Tai is a really easy going kid and plays well with everyone. We work really hard to instill values such as compassion and kindness which Tai practices on an hourly basis with his crazy sister. Tai is always requested for play dates and 90% of the time we make up some lame excuse to avoid the "play date." Partially because I find the structure constricting and also because I really resent the modern parenting movement of scheduling every experience for my kid. I am a nurturer but at my core, my approach to life is I nurture the child not my ideals of what I think my child should be. Yes the responsibility of a parent is you always keep your child safe first and foremost. Lessons such as swimming is a non-negotiable as it is a life skill. But is it really necessary to schedule Junior from the minute he wakes up until the minute his head hits the pillow?
So many parents are spending their entire life chauffeuring their children around from lesson, to activity, to tutors, to play dates and then back to the nanny. I understand the motive is to position your child with the best life can offer so when they become adults, they can have everything. It's only natural for a parent to give their children the very best chance at life as the instinct is ingrained to produce the best prodigal son.
This is where my old schoolness kicks in. I am from the belief system that the structure of family values such as respect, kindness, compassion, and unconditional love is absolutely a non negotiable for every child. When I was growing up my parents worked very hard and materialistically, we had the basics. They provided a roof over our head, we wore clean clothes and there was always plenty of food. Back then everything was less complicated. We played in the back alleys, or backyard, or in ditches, or in forests, or in the river and my parents trusted that we were smart enough to stay out of any real danger. I used to ride my bike with my brother and friends from one side of Richmond to the other side of Richmond when I was 12 years old. We played tag with the entire neighborhood until it was dark. I may or may not have killed some tadpoles trying to raise an army of frogs. We used to jump off swings at it's highest peak for a cheap thrill. Some of my fondest memories involved me eating fruit uninvited from a random person's yard. To my parents' dismay, Lairay always brought home countless orphaned animals to be nurtured back to health. Sometimes our friends were good for us, sometimes they were assholes and yes sometimes we had to defend ourselves from other kids that had a need to be cruel. Education was a priority but we never had any pressure to do this or do that. As kids, I took swimming lessons, my sister dabbled in gymnastics and we were all forced to take Vietnamese lessons. That's it. Now here's the kicker. How does someone like me, who had a very basic upbringing with very little parent intervention or guidance get so driven or competitive in her adult life?
One of my beloved girlfriends Sam has a very different story. She was an only child to two parents that abused alcohol. To support their addiction, her basic rights as a child was always compromised. Luckily for her she was "adopted" by angel neighbors and extended aunts and uncles that made sure she didn't go hungry, was clothed and she was always invited over for special occasions such as Christmas which eased the loneliness of an absentee family. Sam worked hard to not repeat her parent's legacy. She went to school, excelled in post secondary, worked part-time jobs to pay her bills and now she is a RCMP constable and has a family of two. Even though she didn't have my family foundation and even though she was totally neglected, she grew up by the strength of her own Spirit to become an outstanding pillar of the community. How did Sam, who practically raised herself, manage to have this outcome instead of falling into the cliche of the victim role?
I call people in the 18-30 age bracket Generation Entitlement. This generation of young adults have statistically proven that mental issues such as depression and anxiety is the number one cause of living an unhappy and unfulfilled life. For some reason, instead of being grateful for all the amazing things happening in their life, they choose to focus on everything that is not going as they originally envisioned. For some reason, this generation just expects successful things to happen to them regardless if they sowed the seeds for it or not. When their high level of expectation is not met with the reality of it, their spirit is crushed and they go spiralling down into the dark pit of despair and they just give up. The irony is the bulk of these kids are from middle class to well endowed families. Some where in the world, a young boy that is half starved, missing a limb from accidentally stepping on a mine bomb, with rags for clothes has a giant smile on his face while he is kicking a soccer ball made out of our First World garbage. Clearly, something went seriously wrong with the parenting of Generation Entitlement. Maybe it was because their parents grilled into their heads that they can do anything and be everything just because they are "special"? Maybe this nurture tactic backfired and created a generation of angry, sad, and thus stagnant communities that can't move forward. Instead of contributing to a better world, we now have unemployed whiners sitting on their ass complaining to their parents that their life sucks because they didn't become that rock star their parents said they can.
Some days I fantasize of running away from my First World problems and disappearing into a smaller remote town where the pressure to schedule 30 hours of the day is non existent. I prefer watching Kaiya and Tai discover the wonder of beach combing life to sitting in a cold arena with other parents so pissing mad that they're giving death threats to the poor coach who is volunteering his time. I enjoy indulging Kaiya in the secret world of Fairies by hunting for mushrooms in the backyard to seeing my child crack because the pressure is too great when they didn't get first place in the Pig-Latin spelling bee. The true nature of children is best to be nurtured in unstructured play. In the quiet space without parent intervention, Junior will learn their boundaries, will discover their happiness, will have the opportunity to apply your value system and will have the chance to bloom when faced with the inevitable hardships that is Life. Having you, a text away dictating to Junior that his professor is an idiot for not giving him an A on his assignment or calling Junior's boss to belittle her for not giving Junior the promotion is enabling the next wave of dysfunctional generations.
My greatest wish for humanity is we move into an era of Enlightenment. To make this happen, nurturing comes from within and by teaching our children the core of our humanity lies in compassion, kindness and respect. Instead of placing value on amassing materialistic wealth for the Self, we need to place higher value of being of service to Others which in turn will create real happiness. If we side step these core values and inject parenting based on fear then be prepared to be the proud parent of Generation Self-Destruct. All these kids who have been programmed to not think on their own won't be able to handle their adult life so would just rather end it.
You know, our children doesn't have to end up like this. Be the change you want to see in the world.
If you follow my blog, you'll know that three things consume my time. My kids, the general population of idiots and spirituality. I obsess about the insanity of these three elements and naturally it overflows into my writing which I find therapeutic in organizing all my thoughts. Writing helps me from joining the League of Shadow Assassins and I believe, on some small level, helps those reading, from culling the human herd. Yes misery loves company and insanity is safer in numbers.
One of my quirks of being a parent is that I actually don't seek out other parents to hang out with. When Tai was born, I used to walk a lot with him outdoors and I would always run into a fleet of "yummy mummies". Dressed head to toe in Lululemon yoga gear, pushing babies in their thousand dollars strollers, these packs of women would meet on the boardwalk in Steveston and sweat off their last ten "baby pounds" in high impact cardio flair as the boot camp woman draws blood and yells for an extra minute of running on the spot. Glistening in gorgeous sweat, they would all gather afterwards at Starbucks, drinking their skinny latte and discussing the newest Pinterest recipe for gluten free, organic, vegan cookie recipes using free range eggs because it's only like, two calories. Don't get me wrong, all these mommies seem really sweet and well educated in all things mommies and I have been invited many times to join the club as they are a very inclusive group. Personally, I would rather run naked through a mile of hell fire then obsess with parenting on this level of detail. My survival skill was and has always been to avoid this group of hyper parenting. Besides, who wants to feel like you're lower than a crack whore because you are THAT parent that dishes up sugary bowls of cereal chased by full-fat cake for dinner and do it all graciously guilt free?
As I add to my family and Tai eases into the school system I am yet again assaulted with the hyper parents of the world. Luckily for us, Tai is a really easy going kid and plays well with everyone. We work really hard to instill values such as compassion and kindness which Tai practices on an hourly basis with his crazy sister. Tai is always requested for play dates and 90% of the time we make up some lame excuse to avoid the "play date." Partially because I find the structure constricting and also because I really resent the modern parenting movement of scheduling every experience for my kid. I am a nurturer but at my core, my approach to life is I nurture the child not my ideals of what I think my child should be. Yes the responsibility of a parent is you always keep your child safe first and foremost. Lessons such as swimming is a non-negotiable as it is a life skill. But is it really necessary to schedule Junior from the minute he wakes up until the minute his head hits the pillow?
So many parents are spending their entire life chauffeuring their children around from lesson, to activity, to tutors, to play dates and then back to the nanny. I understand the motive is to position your child with the best life can offer so when they become adults, they can have everything. It's only natural for a parent to give their children the very best chance at life as the instinct is ingrained to produce the best prodigal son.
This is where my old schoolness kicks in. I am from the belief system that the structure of family values such as respect, kindness, compassion, and unconditional love is absolutely a non negotiable for every child. When I was growing up my parents worked very hard and materialistically, we had the basics. They provided a roof over our head, we wore clean clothes and there was always plenty of food. Back then everything was less complicated. We played in the back alleys, or backyard, or in ditches, or in forests, or in the river and my parents trusted that we were smart enough to stay out of any real danger. I used to ride my bike with my brother and friends from one side of Richmond to the other side of Richmond when I was 12 years old. We played tag with the entire neighborhood until it was dark. I may or may not have killed some tadpoles trying to raise an army of frogs. We used to jump off swings at it's highest peak for a cheap thrill. Some of my fondest memories involved me eating fruit uninvited from a random person's yard. To my parents' dismay, Lairay always brought home countless orphaned animals to be nurtured back to health. Sometimes our friends were good for us, sometimes they were assholes and yes sometimes we had to defend ourselves from other kids that had a need to be cruel. Education was a priority but we never had any pressure to do this or do that. As kids, I took swimming lessons, my sister dabbled in gymnastics and we were all forced to take Vietnamese lessons. That's it. Now here's the kicker. How does someone like me, who had a very basic upbringing with very little parent intervention or guidance get so driven or competitive in her adult life?
One of my beloved girlfriends Sam has a very different story. She was an only child to two parents that abused alcohol. To support their addiction, her basic rights as a child was always compromised. Luckily for her she was "adopted" by angel neighbors and extended aunts and uncles that made sure she didn't go hungry, was clothed and she was always invited over for special occasions such as Christmas which eased the loneliness of an absentee family. Sam worked hard to not repeat her parent's legacy. She went to school, excelled in post secondary, worked part-time jobs to pay her bills and now she is a RCMP constable and has a family of two. Even though she didn't have my family foundation and even though she was totally neglected, she grew up by the strength of her own Spirit to become an outstanding pillar of the community. How did Sam, who practically raised herself, manage to have this outcome instead of falling into the cliche of the victim role?
I call people in the 18-30 age bracket Generation Entitlement. This generation of young adults have statistically proven that mental issues such as depression and anxiety is the number one cause of living an unhappy and unfulfilled life. For some reason, instead of being grateful for all the amazing things happening in their life, they choose to focus on everything that is not going as they originally envisioned. For some reason, this generation just expects successful things to happen to them regardless if they sowed the seeds for it or not. When their high level of expectation is not met with the reality of it, their spirit is crushed and they go spiralling down into the dark pit of despair and they just give up. The irony is the bulk of these kids are from middle class to well endowed families. Some where in the world, a young boy that is half starved, missing a limb from accidentally stepping on a mine bomb, with rags for clothes has a giant smile on his face while he is kicking a soccer ball made out of our First World garbage. Clearly, something went seriously wrong with the parenting of Generation Entitlement. Maybe it was because their parents grilled into their heads that they can do anything and be everything just because they are "special"? Maybe this nurture tactic backfired and created a generation of angry, sad, and thus stagnant communities that can't move forward. Instead of contributing to a better world, we now have unemployed whiners sitting on their ass complaining to their parents that their life sucks because they didn't become that rock star their parents said they can.
Some days I fantasize of running away from my First World problems and disappearing into a smaller remote town where the pressure to schedule 30 hours of the day is non existent. I prefer watching Kaiya and Tai discover the wonder of beach combing life to sitting in a cold arena with other parents so pissing mad that they're giving death threats to the poor coach who is volunteering his time. I enjoy indulging Kaiya in the secret world of Fairies by hunting for mushrooms in the backyard to seeing my child crack because the pressure is too great when they didn't get first place in the Pig-Latin spelling bee. The true nature of children is best to be nurtured in unstructured play. In the quiet space without parent intervention, Junior will learn their boundaries, will discover their happiness, will have the opportunity to apply your value system and will have the chance to bloom when faced with the inevitable hardships that is Life. Having you, a text away dictating to Junior that his professor is an idiot for not giving him an A on his assignment or calling Junior's boss to belittle her for not giving Junior the promotion is enabling the next wave of dysfunctional generations.
My greatest wish for humanity is we move into an era of Enlightenment. To make this happen, nurturing comes from within and by teaching our children the core of our humanity lies in compassion, kindness and respect. Instead of placing value on amassing materialistic wealth for the Self, we need to place higher value of being of service to Others which in turn will create real happiness. If we side step these core values and inject parenting based on fear then be prepared to be the proud parent of Generation Self-Destruct. All these kids who have been programmed to not think on their own won't be able to handle their adult life so would just rather end it.
You know, our children doesn't have to end up like this. Be the change you want to see in the world.
Saturday, November 16, 2013
Kaiya, My Perfect Teacher
Last night I finally had some down time and since I was out of lives on Candy Crush I thought it would be good to dust off some old books and expand my mind. I picked up a book called "Hiding In Plain Sight. The Secret Of The Truth Of You" by Burt Harding. It was given to me a year ago by a client of mine who thought I would be able to peel back the pages and unveil some wisdom to my own life. Initially I was excited as it was such an unusual gift that I started reading it as soon as I got home. I barely made it through the first chapter and I fell asleep. Fast forward a year later, same couch, same scenario and same outcome. Not a chapter into it and I was bored to tears. Like a trooper I thought I would rally up my enthusiasm and push the envelope to down another chapter. This time I was truly in tears. Like, pissing myself laughing and crying because it was that funny! Some how, my very curious 3 year old daughter got a hold of the book and left her creative artistic flair which I sometimes appreciate but most times not. Her last adventures in creative expression resulted in Chris using his "big boy" voice and the free-lance artist revisiting her favorite quiet corner of the house. After hours of searching on Google forums on how to remove a black permanent marker from his precious 50" TV, Chris was able to salvage his beloved shrine with a Magic Eraser and Miss Kaiya was granted another day to live.
A funny thing happens when you are gifted with the responsibility of parenting. All those years that invested acquiring knwoledge to prep for "life" and BOOM... your little wee one comes along to prove that you actually know NOTHING. Not only do you know NOTHING, you also realize you actually don't control ANYTHING. When Tai was born, I blogged during my mat leave on the dismal dismantling of all my intellectual property. You can relive my very high and very low moments here: http://crung.livejournal.com/. My year long experimentation on Tai proved inconclusively that parenting the human variety measuring under 4 feet was not my finest moment and truly everything I learned was useless. The square root of pie or finding the missing variable in a static bell curve was not saving my ass here. Chris metamorphosed during this new phase of ours and I fell in love with him again as he took the bull by the proverbial horns and steered us into a new direction. It was like a "Breaking Bad" moment for Chris and I. Like Walter White, Chris busted all bad ass out of his normal shell of fear and I took on Jesse Pinkman's character as the sidekick that wanted to smoke crack all the time to numb the pain. It's dysfunctional at it's finest but hey, it works for us.
When Kaiya was born she removed the delusion that I was in control of any situation. If I wanted her to go in a certain direction not only would she go the exact opposite path but along the way, burn 1,000 bridges, fight a couple dragons, cut her own hair, trip over her own feet and oh ya... for hilarious measure draw a very large inappropriate phallic shape in a "sacred" book of preaching oneness with the all mighty.
A funny thing happens when you are gifted with the responsibility of parenting. All those years that invested acquiring knwoledge to prep for "life" and BOOM... your little wee one comes along to prove that you actually know NOTHING. Not only do you know NOTHING, you also realize you actually don't control ANYTHING. When Tai was born, I blogged during my mat leave on the dismal dismantling of all my intellectual property. You can relive my very high and very low moments here: http://crung.livejournal.com/. My year long experimentation on Tai proved inconclusively that parenting the human variety measuring under 4 feet was not my finest moment and truly everything I learned was useless. The square root of pie or finding the missing variable in a static bell curve was not saving my ass here. Chris metamorphosed during this new phase of ours and I fell in love with him again as he took the bull by the proverbial horns and steered us into a new direction. It was like a "Breaking Bad" moment for Chris and I. Like Walter White, Chris busted all bad ass out of his normal shell of fear and I took on Jesse Pinkman's character as the sidekick that wanted to smoke crack all the time to numb the pain. It's dysfunctional at it's finest but hey, it works for us.
When Kaiya was born she removed the delusion that I was in control of any situation. If I wanted her to go in a certain direction not only would she go the exact opposite path but along the way, burn 1,000 bridges, fight a couple dragons, cut her own hair, trip over her own feet and oh ya... for hilarious measure draw a very large inappropriate phallic shape in a "sacred" book of preaching oneness with the all mighty.
When I flipped the page to this little treasure left behind by my in-house Wrecking Ball, I stared in horror. Symbolically, it was like someone flipped the bird to God! I gasped, waited to see if the Almighty unleashed a lighting bolt to smite our house and then the urge to erupt in glorious laughter took over. The irony of everything was just too poetic. I struggled with this book because yes it was terribly boring and also it's one of those books filled with rhetoric circular arguments that the "spiritualists" uses to, I swear, confuse us already confused normal folk. I label this type of vernacular application the "Yoda effect." Stringing words together in a non-linear fashion that when read left to right leaves you wondering what the eff did you just read. Here's an example from Burt Harding's book:
Being is nothingness known also as spirit and it appears as everything. Being is the absolute appearing as the relative. Being is the emptiness we misinterpret which in truth is fullness. Being is the uncaused and timeless essence yet appearing as the caused and humans. Being is the Oneness appearing as separation.
I'm brutally paraphrasing, but my take away from the first couple of chapters is that Burt's shitty life fell apart so he sat under a tree and most likely smoked a joint (I'm interpreting here). In his moment of "awakening," (I believe the pot heads term this a "high") he determined that his life was so effed and not worth fixing so he should just surrender. In that moment of true helplessness, he realized that he doesn't have to answer to any one's expectations anymore because he officially waved the white flag. At that exact moment of total despair, he realized that he freed himself from all the conditions and expectations of society. He no longer cares if his neighbors judged him on leaving the front grass unmowed. That jackass of a boss that lives to make his life hell can go off himself. His mom that constantly nags him to set goals... doesn't matter! In this small moment, Burt has found his peace and with it a new love for the freedom dispensed from marijuana therapy. That day, Burt became alive and stopped existing and started living. I believe the famous author Eckort Tolle sat under the same tree that Burt did and discovered the secret is in the Moment. Perhaps the actual secret was that these two men are both from Vancouver and they had access to our famous BC Bud. Or perhaps it was the exact same magical tree. Damn, every tree I sat under I discovered that I would rather sit on a feather wrapped, hand tied 9 pocket coil, beautiful wing back chair in a damask pattern because it's way more comfortable.
This is some serious stuff. Simple words carrying big repercussions usually translates into a really big pair of shoes one needs to walk in to feel "fulfilled" in this version. One of the reasons these shoes are are giant is the stereotype that you always have to be positive and love everyone and everything that happens to you because otherwise you're not spiritual, you're just... human. Shit, I'm pretty sure we signed up for Earth Experiment so we can be human because we were bored of being spiritual. Back at Home, there is no duality. Everyday is just a perfect day of perfect clouds and perfect curls. Sounds perfectly humdrum. Here on Earth, we have the gift of emotions so we can choose drama if we so please. When all the negative experiences feels too burdened, you just need to know that you can just shift your perspective and experience something else if you would like. The experience will happen to you whether you enjoy it or not but whether you continue to suffer is of your own preference. Do you have to go through every experience graciously and with love? Or can an awakened person still yell at the Angels for forgetting to having your back, freak on your family for being assholes, and sleep peacefully after wishing the worst imaginable death for the scums of the Earth like pedophiles?
Intellectually, I can eventually wrap my head around it but it's still pretty heavy duty shit finding that inner peace and fulfillment that everyone is seeking. In Burt's situation he had to have everything fall apart to feel free. Then he wrote a book about nothingness and shared his teachings to people that have everything yet feel nothing. Am I the only one that sees the irony in this? It's maddening. I think I'm going to re-write the Book of Nothingness to a more user friendly version for all the people out there that are more like me... you know... people who like dropping the f-bomb like its going out of style.
My teachers will be people like:
1. Audrey, my beloved and missed friend who passed away from ovarian cancer a year ago. Today is her birthday so I had to post a blog to honor our friendship which blossomed from laughing at our own snarky remarks. Her lesson is: Life is too short, live each day passionately. Let everyone know how much you appreciate them. Laugh often.
2. The recent typhoon that devastated the Philippines. The lesson will be: The light of humanity shines brightest at the darkest moments. You can choose to suffer or you can choose to grow.
3. That asshat douche bag currently wrecking your otherwise beautiful day. Every person has both love and fear. It's part of being human so which one wins the constant fight for control? The answer is the side you decide to feed. Feed the side of love if you want to end your suffering. Let go of grudges, forgive injustices and move on. Forgiveness is choosing happiness over hurt.
4. The European culture. They don't live to work. They work to live. Don't spend your entire life consumed with working hard and regretting you forgot along the way to enjoy your efforts. Happiness is based on the small moments and relationships not how much income tax you paid. Measure your wealth in people and moments... and good wine.
5. That eccentric yogi, Joy Amaada who radiates light where ever she goes because she had the courage to live her authentic life. She dismissed society's judgements and freely discusses her passion like little green men visiting her home and how she was an Atlantean mermaid in her previous lives (Read previous blog for reference). Honor the one reason you are here. Honor yourself and walk that path unapologetically.
6. Kaiya, the karma balancing entity who I consciously brought forth from my loins when I thought I knew everything, and incorrectly assumed it would be just peachy adorable to have a mini-me version running around. Her lesson is: Don't take life so seriously. When you don't immediately get it, draw a big penis instead.
Saturday, November 2, 2013
Joy's Channelling
Sometimes I just drag my feet. Don't get me wrong, I love writing and exposing my opinions to everyone but I have been in a blogging funk lately. Not because I don't have anything interesting to share. On the contrary, my life has been a whirlwind this summer into early fall and shitloads of whacky things have happened but for some reason I just can't carve the time out to put my mad one finger pecking skills to a keyboard. It could be that life is actually really busy. Or perhaps my new found love for Candy Crush may consume more time than I really would care to admit and intervention is quite inevitably a sad reality. Or the fact that my plump ass fits so nicely in the nook of my sofa and my cold feet warms up so conveniently against Chris and yes as a matter of fact I really do need to watch like... ummm... twenty episodes of Sons Of Anarchy in a row chased with three seasons of Breaking Bad. Or maybe because I'm not sure if my online ramblings actually reaches anyone. Secretly my ego is hoping at the very minimum that somewhere out there, someone in their pyjamas and fuzzy bunny slippers is at least meeking out a pathetic LOL in the dark. Anywho, rain and storm warnings have been issued this weekend and I have run out of excuses to procrastinate... heck, even my toilets are cleaned.
I was just recently in Kelowna for a week taking one for the team. My brother in law, Jeff was competing in two triathalons in Europe and my inlaws wanted to be there to cheer him on. The problem was the two little guys (I use that term loosely because they are actually almost 6 feet tall teens) needed to stay home for school and the rest of their sports commitments. So here I was, exposed to teen hormones and even worst, teen mentality and tasked with driving them everywhere while my husband holds down the fort at home with Tai, Kaiya and his usual barrage of germy daycare kids. Meanwhile, my inlaws are living the life, reviewing the fine wines and taking in the rich culture. Whenever my blood pressure rose, like when the two teens argue about the art of discreetly masterbating, I comment out loud why I decided to take one for the team. I could have been in the comfort of my own home, yelling at my own kids to keep their hands to themselves. Instead, I'm yelling at the older teen to stop yelling at the tweenie because apparently the volume level that the tweenie explores his body is too loud hence interrupting the beauty sleep of the older teen. Clearly the walls are too thin and the spacious 3,000 square feet is not enough to contain the raging hormonal explosion.
My inlaws had me on a tight schedule. Every 3 hours I was on the road, sitting in traffic and feeling my voluptuous ass grow even more robust. Everytime I was on the road, my mind wanders and the need to change how people live their unwaken lives grows stronger. Clearly there is more to life then flipping the middle finger to idiot Kelowna drivers who don't understand that a STOP sign does not mean, "When I Feel Like It." Three days of driving and after logging almost 400 kilometers, it occurred to me that a customer of mine has her yoga retreat just outside of Kelowna.
Joy Amaada has been a very supportive customer of ours since the doors opened in 2008. I loved her when I first met her. In fact, everyone in our store loved her when they first met her. She is a petite woman that just exuded sunshine. Without an exchange of words, you just knew she was an amazing person. Of course the strong natural attraction led to conversations and I learned that she was a yoga instructor based in Steveston and was in the midst of opening a yoga retreat in Kelowna. She needed furniture and accessories for the new endeavour so we saw her often in the store. During my lunch break from chauffeuring, I looked her up on my handy new iPhone. According to her website she was only 45 minutes away from my inlaws and she offered a ray of services. What captured my attention was that she was an intuitive as well as a yoga instructor! She was well versed in spiritual teachings, offered alternative healing modalities such as reikki and she was also a channeler. Wow, who knew all these years that Little Miss Sunshine was also a medium for other entities! I felt like I just hit the jackpot. In this field, I am very cautious of who I receive my experiences from. I'm hyper critical of the information available and deep down, I have a fear that a dark force could manipulate me. To avoid that possibility I only expose myself to new experiences only if I felt safe. I knew without a doubt that Joy would keep me safe.
I excitedly made the call. Her warm and friendly voice immediately lifted my weary spirits and even though she had a packed schedule, she was able to squeeze me in to tour her home and conduct a channeling. I was on cloud nine and all the crap that happened this week just dispersed. The interior designer side of me was thrilled to finally see the finished product. The spiritual seeking junkie side was grasping for more. When I drove up the gravel country road and took my first look at the acreage a huge breath escaped from deep within. Even with my vast vocabulary, all I can say about this piece of land is that it was magical. Situated on Highway 33, just 20 minutes outside Kelowna past Black Mountain this idyllic country home exudes Mother Nature at her best. I was greeted by two gentle giants at the gate. Jackson and Joe are two pure white Burmese dogs that stand almost four feet tall. They approached the gate like noble creatures and gracefully escorted my car to the driveway. It was weird, I have owned dogs for a good chunk of my life but these dogs I swear had the energy of a unicorn. There was no fear, anxiousness or ounce of agitation from these massive dogs. I was 15 minutes early so when I rang the doorbell I was greeted by Joy who just stepped out of the shower so her hair was all crazed like a mad woman.
She warmly welcomed me in and we immediately started the tour of her sprawling, unbelievably cute, 6 bedroom home. I immediately recognized all the purchases she made from the store and it felt like I was visiting old friends again as she bought some of my favorite sweet country pieces. We started sharing our stories of who we are and where we have come from. Her journey, like many, started as a need to know more. Although she had a blessed life of three children and a husband she was seeking more from life. A deeper yearning to have more depth to the often shallow human experience. Surely life can't be a cycle of bill payments and schedules? She took the brave step and started attending different courses and although it made her heart sing with each piece of knowledge acquired, she never felt safe to share this with her husband. I felt a pang of sadness for her. The road of seeking more than yourself is already fraught with mine pits of uncertainly that I can't even imagine how that is like to do it secretively and all alone.
Unlike Joy, I announced to pretty much every poor sucker that gave me their two seconds of attention that I was going to find out MORE... not sure what that exactly was but there just had to be... MORE. My best friends, family and most importantly Chris knew everything I was doing and although they don't necessarily always understand it, they are here for me when they can. Luckily for me, my close circle of supporters are predisposition as abnormal anyways. My Vietnamese background means when I explain to my parents that Kaiya could possibly be conversing with spirits, they non-chalantly advise me to keep Penny nearby because dogs are repellents for the angrier spirit variety. My native girlfriends don't blink an eye when I tell them I'm burning sage to cleanse a dark space because I think another friend of mine brought over her demon "friend". Or when I explain to Laura that I can see my environment sometimes when my eyes are closed. She smiles, nods in agreement and tells me she sometimes talks to dead people in her car when she's driving. I know people that do extraordinary things and in my world it's totally ordinary.
That being said, Miss Joy Amaada is on a whole different level of ordinary. For two hours she shared stories of Atlantis, explained that on her property there were two energy vortexes that attract a lot of UFO activities so sightings of friendly green little men were as normal as seeing chickadees and helped me fill in the blanks of some of my questions. Finally, we both gasped at the clock and realized that although we could talk for another eon we really needed to get started on this channelling business.
Joy excitedly leads me to the yoga room which even in it's spaciousness is still comfortable and calming. Anchored in one corner is a 6' carving of a spiritual Tibetan deity from what looks acacia or teak wood. The feminine sculpture casts a formidable force and I can see that if I was high on something (for the record I wasn't) her presence could be misconstrued as overwhelming. I look out on the neat rows of yoga mats and let out a deep sigh. Did I just agree to witness basically a spiritual possession exercise? Visions of the possessed girl on the classic horror movie the Exorcism stabbing herself in the vajajay with a crucifix vividly occupies my imagination. Right on cue, Joy senses my last minute panic and lets me know that she is a very "clean" channeller and nothing inappropriate will happen. Joy calmly explains that she is guided by a council of 12 higher beings (or angels whatever you are comfortable with) and amongst this council are also the arch angels. She never knows who actually pops in and sometimes multiple Spirits "pops" in. Her spirit is out of her body and observing yet always cognisant of the events unfolding. After she cleanses the space to ensure that only spirits of light (aka no demons) can enter her body, I can start asking any question I would like or most often, information will just flow out. My eyes dilate and I can feel my pulse quicken. Often when I expose myself to a new experience I quietly ask for my own body of protection just in case something doesn't go as planned. I push the proverbial red button which means all hands on deck with my own upstairs team.
We sit quietly for about four minutes as Joy cleanses the space. She has arranged herself cross legged on the floor in the classic yoga pose and looks like a peaceful angel with her eyes closed and a small smile on her face. I rudely stare at her in disbelief. While she's cleansing, I'm scanning the space and noticed her paint color had a funny orange undertone. I glance back to Joy to check cleansing progress and instead of probably closing my own eyes, I keep them fixated on her expecting her to levitate or something. I fiddle nervously with my iPhone to ensure the voice recorder is actually working. Then my mind does what it does best.. it wanders. I imagine the whole space rumbling when the big guns arrive on site. I muse at the thought of maybe a chipmunk voice coming out of Joy once she starts.
Joy starts and I'm jolted out of my own mind musings. Her voice has deepened and is really, eerily loud in comparison to her usual soft voice. In addition to the voice change, I suddenly noticed that the energy has shifted. It's like nothing I have ever felt before. You know that sensation when you're at the top of the roller coaster and you are just about to drop? The excitement, the palpable nervousness, the high adrenaline, that intoxication feeling? Ya that one... think of that millisecond of raw emotions and keep that suspended for the rest of the hour and that's the energy level I was marinated in.
Her eyes fly open and still in her crossed legged form, she starts rocking her body back and forth in a bizarre yet almost cathartic rhythm. Damn, I knew I should have video taped this session instead of just voice recording it. Then it happened. For the next hour just pure information from almost every facet of my life is poured out like the flood gates. Unlike a natural conversation, Joy just continuously outputs information without stopping and it flowed freely without her barely catching her human breath. I was so shocked... and awed... and enchanted by the whole experience that I actually forgot to ask any questions. Me, the woman on the hunt for all these bazillions of answers whirling in my giant head and all I asked were a couple of lame questions. It's like meeting God finally and you're so dumbfounded and star struck that the only thing you ask was: Ummm... dude, what's your favorite color?
Joy mentions that my soul's overlay, the predominant hard wiring of your purpose, is a duel role of teacher and healer. In my previous lives I had to defend my role so occasionally I did don on an extra layer of fierce warrior and in positions of leaderships to achieve my message. I am here on this lifetime, like millions of other people, to hold the space until Earth ascends to the 5th dimension which is what Atlantis was at. My creative gift of "animated" communication is my signature for teaching and there was an emphasized message to keep writing. She mentions that if I pursue opening a school, it would be very successful and I would be given very specific directions from her council through the channelling on how to achieve this. She tells me the crow sightings are a sign that my upstairs team is always around me because in my previous lives I felt foresakened and abandoned. I am drawn to the ocean for its healing properties and love the mountains for its wisdom. In my previous lives I lived as a mermaid and have been strongly connected to dolphins ands whales for this reason. I have also lived many lives as an Atlantean. This would explain my peculiar obsession with the red headed Ariel, magic, whales and Atlantis. Tai is an analyzer of information so when he grows up a role like a scientist or engineer will hold his interest. Contrary to popular belief (ie. mine) Kaiya is not here to test my parenting abilities. She is a change agent and will lead a community or organization to force systems that are no longer working to cease operations. I feel bad for the future assholes that are in her war path.
Consciously she educates that all passed karmic debt is released and if you're carrying past debts from previous lives you know longer need to keep this burden. This will be a time of many changes as Mother Earth will do microcosms of purging negative energy throughout Earth to restore the positive flow. The really dark energy beings roaming the Earth has officially been ask to leave thus creating less fear and more love. Everyone is now lighter and in motion to freely move forward and create your true future.
It has been a month since Joy's channeling and even as I write this post I'm still in shock. I'm still digesting all the information put forward and would love to return very soon to explore the energy vortexes that she describes exists on her property. If you're interested in Joy's work, or just interested in restoring some peace in your life, check out her website and let her know I sent you:
http://www.thejoyoflivingcentre.ca/
I was just recently in Kelowna for a week taking one for the team. My brother in law, Jeff was competing in two triathalons in Europe and my inlaws wanted to be there to cheer him on. The problem was the two little guys (I use that term loosely because they are actually almost 6 feet tall teens) needed to stay home for school and the rest of their sports commitments. So here I was, exposed to teen hormones and even worst, teen mentality and tasked with driving them everywhere while my husband holds down the fort at home with Tai, Kaiya and his usual barrage of germy daycare kids. Meanwhile, my inlaws are living the life, reviewing the fine wines and taking in the rich culture. Whenever my blood pressure rose, like when the two teens argue about the art of discreetly masterbating, I comment out loud why I decided to take one for the team. I could have been in the comfort of my own home, yelling at my own kids to keep their hands to themselves. Instead, I'm yelling at the older teen to stop yelling at the tweenie because apparently the volume level that the tweenie explores his body is too loud hence interrupting the beauty sleep of the older teen. Clearly the walls are too thin and the spacious 3,000 square feet is not enough to contain the raging hormonal explosion.
My inlaws had me on a tight schedule. Every 3 hours I was on the road, sitting in traffic and feeling my voluptuous ass grow even more robust. Everytime I was on the road, my mind wanders and the need to change how people live their unwaken lives grows stronger. Clearly there is more to life then flipping the middle finger to idiot Kelowna drivers who don't understand that a STOP sign does not mean, "When I Feel Like It." Three days of driving and after logging almost 400 kilometers, it occurred to me that a customer of mine has her yoga retreat just outside of Kelowna.
Joy Amaada has been a very supportive customer of ours since the doors opened in 2008. I loved her when I first met her. In fact, everyone in our store loved her when they first met her. She is a petite woman that just exuded sunshine. Without an exchange of words, you just knew she was an amazing person. Of course the strong natural attraction led to conversations and I learned that she was a yoga instructor based in Steveston and was in the midst of opening a yoga retreat in Kelowna. She needed furniture and accessories for the new endeavour so we saw her often in the store. During my lunch break from chauffeuring, I looked her up on my handy new iPhone. According to her website she was only 45 minutes away from my inlaws and she offered a ray of services. What captured my attention was that she was an intuitive as well as a yoga instructor! She was well versed in spiritual teachings, offered alternative healing modalities such as reikki and she was also a channeler. Wow, who knew all these years that Little Miss Sunshine was also a medium for other entities! I felt like I just hit the jackpot. In this field, I am very cautious of who I receive my experiences from. I'm hyper critical of the information available and deep down, I have a fear that a dark force could manipulate me. To avoid that possibility I only expose myself to new experiences only if I felt safe. I knew without a doubt that Joy would keep me safe.
I excitedly made the call. Her warm and friendly voice immediately lifted my weary spirits and even though she had a packed schedule, she was able to squeeze me in to tour her home and conduct a channeling. I was on cloud nine and all the crap that happened this week just dispersed. The interior designer side of me was thrilled to finally see the finished product. The spiritual seeking junkie side was grasping for more. When I drove up the gravel country road and took my first look at the acreage a huge breath escaped from deep within. Even with my vast vocabulary, all I can say about this piece of land is that it was magical. Situated on Highway 33, just 20 minutes outside Kelowna past Black Mountain this idyllic country home exudes Mother Nature at her best. I was greeted by two gentle giants at the gate. Jackson and Joe are two pure white Burmese dogs that stand almost four feet tall. They approached the gate like noble creatures and gracefully escorted my car to the driveway. It was weird, I have owned dogs for a good chunk of my life but these dogs I swear had the energy of a unicorn. There was no fear, anxiousness or ounce of agitation from these massive dogs. I was 15 minutes early so when I rang the doorbell I was greeted by Joy who just stepped out of the shower so her hair was all crazed like a mad woman.
She warmly welcomed me in and we immediately started the tour of her sprawling, unbelievably cute, 6 bedroom home. I immediately recognized all the purchases she made from the store and it felt like I was visiting old friends again as she bought some of my favorite sweet country pieces. We started sharing our stories of who we are and where we have come from. Her journey, like many, started as a need to know more. Although she had a blessed life of three children and a husband she was seeking more from life. A deeper yearning to have more depth to the often shallow human experience. Surely life can't be a cycle of bill payments and schedules? She took the brave step and started attending different courses and although it made her heart sing with each piece of knowledge acquired, she never felt safe to share this with her husband. I felt a pang of sadness for her. The road of seeking more than yourself is already fraught with mine pits of uncertainly that I can't even imagine how that is like to do it secretively and all alone.
Unlike Joy, I announced to pretty much every poor sucker that gave me their two seconds of attention that I was going to find out MORE... not sure what that exactly was but there just had to be... MORE. My best friends, family and most importantly Chris knew everything I was doing and although they don't necessarily always understand it, they are here for me when they can. Luckily for me, my close circle of supporters are predisposition as abnormal anyways. My Vietnamese background means when I explain to my parents that Kaiya could possibly be conversing with spirits, they non-chalantly advise me to keep Penny nearby because dogs are repellents for the angrier spirit variety. My native girlfriends don't blink an eye when I tell them I'm burning sage to cleanse a dark space because I think another friend of mine brought over her demon "friend". Or when I explain to Laura that I can see my environment sometimes when my eyes are closed. She smiles, nods in agreement and tells me she sometimes talks to dead people in her car when she's driving. I know people that do extraordinary things and in my world it's totally ordinary.
That being said, Miss Joy Amaada is on a whole different level of ordinary. For two hours she shared stories of Atlantis, explained that on her property there were two energy vortexes that attract a lot of UFO activities so sightings of friendly green little men were as normal as seeing chickadees and helped me fill in the blanks of some of my questions. Finally, we both gasped at the clock and realized that although we could talk for another eon we really needed to get started on this channelling business.
Joy excitedly leads me to the yoga room which even in it's spaciousness is still comfortable and calming. Anchored in one corner is a 6' carving of a spiritual Tibetan deity from what looks acacia or teak wood. The feminine sculpture casts a formidable force and I can see that if I was high on something (for the record I wasn't) her presence could be misconstrued as overwhelming. I look out on the neat rows of yoga mats and let out a deep sigh. Did I just agree to witness basically a spiritual possession exercise? Visions of the possessed girl on the classic horror movie the Exorcism stabbing herself in the vajajay with a crucifix vividly occupies my imagination. Right on cue, Joy senses my last minute panic and lets me know that she is a very "clean" channeller and nothing inappropriate will happen. Joy calmly explains that she is guided by a council of 12 higher beings (or angels whatever you are comfortable with) and amongst this council are also the arch angels. She never knows who actually pops in and sometimes multiple Spirits "pops" in. Her spirit is out of her body and observing yet always cognisant of the events unfolding. After she cleanses the space to ensure that only spirits of light (aka no demons) can enter her body, I can start asking any question I would like or most often, information will just flow out. My eyes dilate and I can feel my pulse quicken. Often when I expose myself to a new experience I quietly ask for my own body of protection just in case something doesn't go as planned. I push the proverbial red button which means all hands on deck with my own upstairs team.
We sit quietly for about four minutes as Joy cleanses the space. She has arranged herself cross legged on the floor in the classic yoga pose and looks like a peaceful angel with her eyes closed and a small smile on her face. I rudely stare at her in disbelief. While she's cleansing, I'm scanning the space and noticed her paint color had a funny orange undertone. I glance back to Joy to check cleansing progress and instead of probably closing my own eyes, I keep them fixated on her expecting her to levitate or something. I fiddle nervously with my iPhone to ensure the voice recorder is actually working. Then my mind does what it does best.. it wanders. I imagine the whole space rumbling when the big guns arrive on site. I muse at the thought of maybe a chipmunk voice coming out of Joy once she starts.
Joy starts and I'm jolted out of my own mind musings. Her voice has deepened and is really, eerily loud in comparison to her usual soft voice. In addition to the voice change, I suddenly noticed that the energy has shifted. It's like nothing I have ever felt before. You know that sensation when you're at the top of the roller coaster and you are just about to drop? The excitement, the palpable nervousness, the high adrenaline, that intoxication feeling? Ya that one... think of that millisecond of raw emotions and keep that suspended for the rest of the hour and that's the energy level I was marinated in.
Her eyes fly open and still in her crossed legged form, she starts rocking her body back and forth in a bizarre yet almost cathartic rhythm. Damn, I knew I should have video taped this session instead of just voice recording it. Then it happened. For the next hour just pure information from almost every facet of my life is poured out like the flood gates. Unlike a natural conversation, Joy just continuously outputs information without stopping and it flowed freely without her barely catching her human breath. I was so shocked... and awed... and enchanted by the whole experience that I actually forgot to ask any questions. Me, the woman on the hunt for all these bazillions of answers whirling in my giant head and all I asked were a couple of lame questions. It's like meeting God finally and you're so dumbfounded and star struck that the only thing you ask was: Ummm... dude, what's your favorite color?
Joy mentions that my soul's overlay, the predominant hard wiring of your purpose, is a duel role of teacher and healer. In my previous lives I had to defend my role so occasionally I did don on an extra layer of fierce warrior and in positions of leaderships to achieve my message. I am here on this lifetime, like millions of other people, to hold the space until Earth ascends to the 5th dimension which is what Atlantis was at. My creative gift of "animated" communication is my signature for teaching and there was an emphasized message to keep writing. She mentions that if I pursue opening a school, it would be very successful and I would be given very specific directions from her council through the channelling on how to achieve this. She tells me the crow sightings are a sign that my upstairs team is always around me because in my previous lives I felt foresakened and abandoned. I am drawn to the ocean for its healing properties and love the mountains for its wisdom. In my previous lives I lived as a mermaid and have been strongly connected to dolphins ands whales for this reason. I have also lived many lives as an Atlantean. This would explain my peculiar obsession with the red headed Ariel, magic, whales and Atlantis. Tai is an analyzer of information so when he grows up a role like a scientist or engineer will hold his interest. Contrary to popular belief (ie. mine) Kaiya is not here to test my parenting abilities. She is a change agent and will lead a community or organization to force systems that are no longer working to cease operations. I feel bad for the future assholes that are in her war path.
Consciously she educates that all passed karmic debt is released and if you're carrying past debts from previous lives you know longer need to keep this burden. This will be a time of many changes as Mother Earth will do microcosms of purging negative energy throughout Earth to restore the positive flow. The really dark energy beings roaming the Earth has officially been ask to leave thus creating less fear and more love. Everyone is now lighter and in motion to freely move forward and create your true future.
It has been a month since Joy's channeling and even as I write this post I'm still in shock. I'm still digesting all the information put forward and would love to return very soon to explore the energy vortexes that she describes exists on her property. If you're interested in Joy's work, or just interested in restoring some peace in your life, check out her website and let her know I sent you:
http://www.thejoyoflivingcentre.ca/
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