Next Chapter: The Sarcastic Spiritualist

Hi my name is Huong.  I have a PhD in sarcasm and I am in the process of completing a Masters in Spiritualism... WTF?  Yes, it will happen and I will be the first to wield both skills confidently.

One of my special girlfriends have left this third dimension we call life and happily returned home.  My dear Audrey passed away last month after kicking the shit out of cancer for the last four years.  In the end she left a blazing trail of gratitude and rewired the smarter people in her life to seize everyday and live it to it's fullest.  I was inspired.  Unsure exactly what that meant I started by purging things that no longer brought me any happiness.  The first thing I did was eradicated all the emotional vampires in my life.  Some I publicly pronounced as "death" and kicked them to the curb kicking and screaming.  Others I have quietly stopped engaging in our one way relationship (AKA "their way").  For the select few I have mourned our past but came to the understanding that I have out grew them and need to move on.  Professionally I flipped the the toxic corporate cesspool the middle finger and took the risk of financially leveraging my house to live my dream of owning my own business.  Everyday I diligently took out the shit piling up in the House Of Huong.  I confronted some buried skeletons when clearing out the closets and faced the demons lurking in the basement.  This has been a five year process and it just occurred to me this year that the hoarder in the House Of Huong has effectively booked it out of the residence and I am left with a relatively clean... but empty space.  I felt awkward and no longer recognized myself.  I am sure this is what Michael Jackson felt like each time he had surgery.

So... I ponder.  As an interior designer I am highly skilled at filling space with materialistic shit and arranging it in a visually appealing form.  But then I remember that I did that once and I earned the dreaded "Hoarder" label.  So I ponder some more.  In the emptiness of my clean space I discovered something that seemed to have been forgotten.  I am certain I must have carried it with me when I insanely agreed to incarnate into this life time but I consumed so much superficial shit over the last few years it literally got lost in the gong show of conditioning.  It is vibrating with something that cannot be defined within the clumsiness of this world.  In fact, if I had prematurely opened it prior to it's Harvest date I am positive I would have been a ward of the Mental Breakdown Institution instead of a highly intuitive mother having a major life crisis.  So I do what I do best.  I study it carefully...       

Unbeknownst to Trevor Gollagher, I have adopted him as a mentor on my quest for something bigger than myself.  My sensei Laura introduced me to his books a year ago but the content was beyond my ability to comprehend at the time.  The material was about as interesting as reading a furnace manual.  I remember reading the first chapter and yawning my face off every third syllable.  I politely thanked Laura for the introduction but secretly wondered when she boarded the crazy train.  I was bored on Facebook last week and then Trevor popped up on the Chat function.  Curiously drawn that night, I started chatting away and before I knew it I was having an actual phone conversation with a strange man all the way in Australia.  I bartered my parent's Pacific caught salmon and a promise to show the food connoisseur the best all you can eat sushi next time he was teaching in Vancouver.  In exchange, he offered to help me get "unhooked" from the energy leaks in my chakras and gave me a wealth of information.  This ukulele strumming Aussie has dedicated the last forty years of his life to... pondering.  Luckily for us, he's on a mission to share his teachings so has written 17 books in between plucking some strings and paying his taxes.  In our rebuttal he calls me a "Cosmic Kid" to which I retorted, "Buddy, I bet we're the same Soul Age!  The only difference is I happen to have the bad case of Spirit amnesia."

I spent the last few months practicing meditating.  To an over active mind like mine, it's like telling an elephant to gracefully dance like a ballerina.  Uggg... what an ugly and unpretty scene.  All that end ups happening is I sit quietly.  It creepily feels like that time in Kindergarten when I logged some time in the Naughty corner for making fun of the dumb kid that colored his man's face purple.  On my good days I have great conversations with myself and even laugh at my witticisms.  On the rough days I fall asleep in total boredom.  I even downloaded videos from You Tube and read Laura's notes but my brain just keeps digesting something or another.

I have also been reading a lot of metaphysical/spiritual books.  Some concepts I connect with, some I scratch my head, others I put aside just in case.  One of the concepts says one needs to stop judging people and gossiping to stop the cycle of creating negative energy into the world.  Although I understand this concept it makes me really sad because I confess, I enjoy doing it way too much.  It's like a national sport in my world.  I guess I have a couple more bags of trash yet to be taken to the curb.  The hardest one will hefting out the Ego Behemoth that takes up an entire floor of my house.  I am sure when that happens it will dawn on me that this House sucks ass and I need to take up residence in one filled with Light... but not without packing a smallish suitcase of Sarcasm. 

I know this can co-exist because two weeks ago I almost got in a one person car accident.  I was mindlessly driving the same route to work when suddenly a black furry thing jumped in front of my car.  I slammed on the brakes and my heart lurched right into the windshield.  My dilated eyes adjusted and staring right at me was this rabbit.  It blinked innocently and then merrily continued on its way to the other side of the highway.  Once it crossed safely, it dramatically turned and our eyes met in a deadlock.  Prior to her passing, Audrey always thought her rabbit friends brought her good luck which lifted her spirits.  Well on this particular day there was not a car in sight which was odd for Steveston Highway.  In the 30 seconds it took to process that I wasn't dead nor hurt and this rabbit was clearly suicidal it dawned on me that Audrey was here in her signature way to let me know she's watching over as promised.  "Damn you Audrey!  Why can't you be like the other Spirits and send me a non-car accident sign like double rainbows?  Why you gotta be a jack-ass?"  I angrily waved my fist at the rabbit staring at me on the sidewalk as I drove by.  Even though I was loudly cussing, deep down I was smiling.



.