The Gift Of A Douche Bag Manager

Einstein echoed, “Great spirits have always encountered violent resistance from mediocre minds.”

The most inspiring stories always comes from a place of extreme criticism.  There is something culturally traversing and soul reaching about an overweight person that was able to shed her decades and pounds of low self esteem and became an Olympian athlete.  Or the uber nerd that was socially awkward and casted as a loser in his youngers years transform into a social media icon.  Or the high school drop out that was deemed as a nuisance by teachers for his "learning disability" go on to win Nobel Prize awards.  For every person criticizing another human being that they CAN'T or will NEVER or isn't GOOD ENOUGH, thank you for being an excellent teacher.  The irony is, your negative and limiting feedback is most likely going to free that shackled Spirit to finally live their authentic life.

I have lots of bad habits.  Some of them are harmless, like when I drink tea I stick my pinky out when I hold the cup even though my roots are not British or did I attend a finishing school.  Some are kind of annoying, like my OCD need to straighten out things that are crooked.  While others are more destructive, like my issues with incompetent people in leadership roles.  Combine that with my other bad habit of needing to be right and what you have is a volcanic situation ripe for eruption.

I am the type of person that honestly, just doesn't give a damn of what you think of me.  I learned at a really young age that I just can't please everyone.  Somewhere in the world I will offend someone so I might as well just please myself (and while I'm at it, why not make an art out of offending people).  The socially equipped people of the world have called me arrogant and egocentric... and those are just some of the nicer words.  The insecure ones are threatened and so spend a lot of energy removing the threat.

On January 11, 2007, Tai was born and just like that, the ME of my identity became infinitesimally smaller.  If you met "pre-kids" ME, you'll know that this is no minor feat.  As I re-analyzed my world, it became abundantly clear that it had unceremoniously been knocked off its axis and started rotating around my son.  I spent my maternity year adjusting all my perceptions in life and realized that I truly, really... knew NOTHING.  I returned to work in 2008 and everything at work had changed.  The corporate culture I was used to became very toxic in that the new upper management did not look too kindly on those that did not share their views.  Unfortunately for them, I didn't respect their competence level so yes, I did have a need to share my concerns whether they enjoyed them or not.  My immediate manager was in a nutshell, an incompetent douche bag that was threatened by me.  I'm pretty sure her motive was to set me up to fail when I returned from mat leave.  I was given the largest sales department, with the least amount of support, and the expectation to remodel it to bring the sales number from being one of the worst in the country to being the best.  I love a good challenge.  In six months I drew blood from a stone and proved that I was not just a pretty face.  For the first time ever, the loser of a department was ranked as number one in the country in sales for three consecutive months.  Sadly, there was a casualty amongst this battle.  To make this happen, Tai was pretty much an orphaned child.  This was our day.  We would get up at 6:30AM, I left him at daycare at 7:30AM, sat in road rage for an hour, worked for 9 hours, rotted slowly in another hour in traffic, came home dogged tired and barely eeked out a bath and bedtime story at 7:30PM.  Put this cycle on repeat for 5 (sometimes 6) of the 7 days and I'm pretty sure this is the definition of insanity.  Yes I made good money but at the end of the day I sacrificed my child and I wasn't even happy doing it.

Six months after I returned back at work, I get dragged (yet again) back into the "room" with my asshat of a manager.  Usually there is some long winded conversation about me not "playing well" with upper management because I was spewing forth truth instead of mediocracy. This time she felt it was necessary to write me up for not working 50% of the weekends which was expected.  Funny how she was able to notice that I missed three of the last Saturdays but failed to recognize that I worked almost all the weekends 4 months prior to this.  So... this is where that bad habit of mine played a pivotal role.  Instead of letting her write me up (for the record, I usually get promoted not performance corrected) I opened my big mouth and told her exactly what I thought of her.  And then... I quit and walked out.  I skipped happily down the hallway, with my middle finger enthusiastically saluting and even though I didn't have to see it, I can hear her jaw drop to the ground. 

Five years later I am living out one of my dreams.  I am the proud co-owner of a company and we specialize in happiness.  I educate people on how to create beautiful surroundings that resonates with them and I love what I do.  As much as I love what I do, the most I love about my job is that I have the freedom to spend a lot of time with my family.  I don't miss birthdays, or special milestones or am so tired from work that I don't have the energy to play with my kids.  I am not at the mercy of an idiot and I am free to create whatever I feel like creating.  Yes the stress is different as an entrepreneur but I am learning to trust that if you do what you love, the Law Of Attraction will pay homage and your basic financial needs will take care of itself.  

Your purpose in life is to live YOUR authentic life.  Luckily for us, this world is full of unexpected teachers that will assist you in pointing the compass in the direction of your heart.  You will find that your biggest heartaches in life can be your biggest opportunity to fuel your wake up call and do what you were born to do.  Some people think your purpose needs to be monumental and you need to save this Earth.  This Earth doesn't need to be saved and you are not a victim.  Your purpose is to do what makes you happy.  If you find joy in something and you keep practicing it because it brings you sheer happiness then believe it or not, one day you will be really good at what you do.  It's the annoying part of doing what you love doing... you eventually become an expert and people seek you out because (gasp) you inspired them out of their own personal hell hole.

Believe it or not, even your negative experience is a gift.  If your teacher is kind, the feedback will allow you to sharpen your direction in life.  If your teacher was an effin' ass-monkey like mine, the criticism will affirm your strengths and your purpose will shine regardless of their negativity.  Haters of the world, thank you for unleashing the highest level of self expression in our Spirit.  Without you, there would be no story of The Little Engine That COULD and DID.