Sooooo... I am on a mission. If you know me, you will also know that this is equivalent to a dog and a bone... and this bitch rarely lets go.
I have amazing people in my life. Some of these people have had a tougher journey at finding love then others. Not because they are not special (quite the contrary) but mostly because they attract the wrong type of person. I have discovered that I am really talented at reading people and also really talented at writing (clearly being humble is not one of my qualities) so I figured that maybe I can assist the energy flow and re-align this for all the people that deserve to feel the power of love. Yes, it's totally sappy but hey it really is the ONLY purpose in life. Whether it's with your special someone, or with your amazing-bestest-friend-in-the-whole-wide-world, or your can't-live-without soul sister, or your children that-can't- do-no-wrong, this is the juice that makes the world go round. If you are reading this blog, I challenge you to see if you have the missing "connector" somewhere orbiting in your life and then comment, or message me to see if we can get this deal done. There is the perfect someone for everyone and I'm determined to prove it.
Meet Krista. Krista is my first work wife. She claimed that title back in the days when she worked with Chris at Best Buy. They were the super duo that busted their ass to ensure Mr. Best Buy can add another luxury private jet to his collection. If you don't know by now, Chris is a nerd. I can't even give him the auspiscious title of Geek because Geeks make mega money thus buying them the honor of cool (AKA Bill Gates). Nope, unfortunately for me this is not the case. Chris gets really animated when anything video game, cartoons or comic related paraphenelia gets unleashed. Bundle that with technology and what you have is a 6' walking orgasm. If I asked him what client of ours just put a $10,000 deposit on an order, you'll get a blank look and an empty blink of his gorgeous lashes for dramatic flair. Ask him what version of the Batman suit/costume was his favorite and all of a sudden his short term memory loss has miraculously resolved itself. What's painful is that he will literally spend the next three weeks discussing all the versions, listed in chronological order and debate the pros and cons of each. Given an unlimited amount of funds, he would fill his estate with Transformers, DC Comics, and all things Super Heroes. Chris would be the TV star in "High-End Hoarders" that made headlines because he got buried alive in plastic and die-cast metal crap made in China. Luckily for me, our funds are limited and he has to spend it on boring things like food and electricity.
Well, Krista is the female version of my beloved Chris. The major difference is she's shorter and she can't pee (as well) as Chris standing up. When you get these two nerds together it's like reuniting She-Ra and He-Man... pretty much Care Bears and Rainbow Brites start shooting out of their auras for their love of all things Nerd. I often stare in awe from the sidelines totally baffled at their "secret language" because I can't comprehend the debates of how Trunks levels up to super Saiyan 1, who's power is definitley "over 9000". Oh, Chris and Krista also share an undying love of the Canucks. Unlike myself, who yawns my way through at the seven minute mark of the 1st period and would pick my hockey pool on hotness factor. To the dismay of these two diehards, I am also the first one to curse play-off facial structures.
What I respect most of Krista is her ambition. She's in her early twenties and in the majority of her employment her leaders recognize that she is a woman that handles responsibilities and the stress that comes with it gracefully. Even though her hobbies are youthful, her approach to life is very mature considering her life experience. She works extremely hard and is fiercely loyal. If I was in a war, she would be THE person that would take the bullet for me and even be gracious enough to say, "It's no big deal, that's why I have two eyes." Her sense of humour is quick on the draw with varying levels of intelligent depth. Like myself, there are several degrees of "burns" if you were lucky enough to be a recipient of her observations. She is a natural giver and like most people with this gift this can become a double edge sword. Many times, people use this to their advantage and keep withdrawing from the account without reciprocating with deposits.
Krista gets excited about EVERYTHING in life. She has trudged through a lot of shit but you won't find her complaining about it. In her world, there is a positive spin on everything and she usually is the one to remind people of the silver lining. Some other random things about her. She is an identical twin. She likes to think she's a bad ass and practices kick-boxing religiously 3-4 times a week. Realistically she's more like a walking ray of sunshine with some boxing gloves. She is studying at BCIT in the faculty of Business. She has these beautiful blue eyes and a disarming smile. I love her flawless skin and rich deep dark brown hair (which I have been told is naturally strawberry blonde, but she dyes it because she doesn't want people to thinks she's a ditz).
Krista deserves a total sweetheart with a heavy dose of "nerd." Her equal will require some mega IQ, a hilarious sense of humor, someone who is confident in themself (so has their shit together), is adventurous, and understands that Krista is their number one priority.
P.S. If you have a man that unbashingly owns a Green Lantern t-shirt then it's a mega bonus.
Wednesday, May 30, 2012
Thursday, May 10, 2012
Oh Miss Snaggletooth Kaiya
When I started my first blog, I was a new mom so my sometimes unreal experiences had enough fodder to last at least a decade. Between the sleep deprivation, the hormonal peaks and valleys and being thrust into giving up your identity to succumb to the demands of a newborn who couldn't even figure out the basics of life, writing was a therapeutic escape. If you missed my year long ranting and raving it's at: http://crung.livejournal.com/ - my dedication to Tai Jaeden Manson.
Kaiya Elaine Mansoncame screaming into the world on July 9, 2010. She was my fantasy newborn. Unlike Tai, she slept beautifully, ate effortlessly, passed gas like a seasoned pro and she had the unbelievable magic of engaging you into her happy world. When you cuddle her, she cooed. When you sang to her, she googled at you with her big (for a half Asian) brown eyes and smiled. When you talked to her, she babbled confidently back like she understood everything. I was truly in love and she melted everyone's heart that she batted her eyelashes at. She was the complete opposite of Tai.
Then something happened around the three month mark. Kaiya hit the milestones with record breaking speed. Her growth charts were literally off the grid (As in she was so fat and tall that she wasn't even on the charts). Tai was a chubby baby but Kaiya had so much girth and robusto on her that she made the Michelin Man look like he was on Jenny Craig. When I told my friends that she was a wee tad on the "big girl" side they would just roll their eyes assuming I was exaggerating the issue. When they finally met the little Manson heifer they soon realized why she earned the nicknames of "Beebee Hippo" and "Smallish Bear." Clearly the Asian genes were in retreat during this stage. I think this is when our sweet Kaiya blossomed into a raging... um... Hulk Smash.
Kaiya clearly showed a disregard to rules, routines, manners, and well you know... anything that could possibly make my life easier. Miss Beebee is definitely the grand opposite of Tai. Ying and Yang, Darth Vader and Luke, Miss Piggy and Kermit... you know the classic pairing. Tai is truly his father's son when it comes to temperment. He is extremely cautious, doesn't like change, is very intense and emotional and timidly approaches the world like it's going to explode on him. Kaiya is fearless (or stupid only time will tell), either insanely happy or just mad, loathes being restricted to social norms and lives life precariously on the edge. I knew Karma would one day bite me in the ass, I was just never prepared for it to be named Kaiya.
My girlfriend Audrey is a cancer warrior and battling the bitch with grace and humor. This morning she posted on her blog: http://notthedestinationbut.wordpress.com/2012/05/10/nice-girl-not-too-bright/. As always, she debates the gifts of cancer and offers a vulnerable look at her often dark and lonely road. Through her talented writing she reminds me everyday to appreciate my blessings and to stay in the moment. Today she brought up the topic of grandchildren so I offered up an opportunity to nanny Kaiya:
I am always here for you so I will unselfishly allow you to be my personal Nanny of my brood. No, no, no… it’s really not a problem at all. Feel free to chase Kaiya around while she is screaming bloody murder because she feels clothing restricts her from experiencing everything life has to offer. She also enjoys peeling off her diapers and peeing in the public eye – because let’s face it, doing it privately is so 24 hours ago. Attempt to convince her that one sits to eat is like wrestling a crack-out alligator. And forget about using words and proper manners, screeching to the point of alarming all canines within a 200 kilometer radius is a way more effective form of communication. Like I said, I am a sharing kind of gal.
Her hilarious response:
H-Dawg – You give and you give and you give! Such a wee martyr you are, my beloved friend.
Okay, here is the deal….I will take on Ms Kaiya (who I can’t wait to meet, by the way) as long as she understands the following:
1) I do not climb trees in my bare feet in order to hang a swing
2) Nudity is fine if and only if, you declare it as streaking, and that you are making a political statement by doing so
3) Peeing in public is permissible only in front of those who have pissed you off
4) Sitting to eat causes a person to relax. That could potentially lead to a lack of sense of purpose. The girl wins this one.
5) Manners, schmanners. Overrated! Again, this one goes to Ms Kaiya.
Love and hugs to you and your wild child xoxoxo
Now this is where the science experiment of parenting really gets interesting. When Tai was born I had one glorious year of maternity leave. I read all the books, studied up on all the latest research and agonized over every parenting decision. I did imprint myself heavily on Tai so despite his "nature" he has been "nurtured" and has grown into a sensitive, beautifully polite, methodical thinker that communicates and processes information well beyond an average 5 year old. He is also extremely confident (to the point that's it's almost cocky), has no problem approaching complete strangers to talk their ear off and will negotiate his way to Timbuck to if he's allowed.
When Kaiya was born I had 2 very short months with her and it was back to work for me since being an entrepreneur meant there was no such thing as maternity pay. Chris became the nurturer and since he prefers parenting more organically, Kaiya's behavior amplified into... um... a Tazmanian Devil. No word of a lie, that is her energy level. She even scares her Nona who normally isn't scared of anybody after raising 5 boys. As a baby, she never became attached to any of the normal soothing props. She spitefully spat out the soothers, aggressively kicked off all her blankets, shrieked like a Banshee at the mobiles, and delightfully sacrificed all plush toys to Penny to chew on. Ironically, just recently she has been attached to this giant Stitch doll. If you ever watch Lilo and Stitch, Kaiya embodies both spirits so seeing her drag around a blue Stitch half the size of her is hilariously poetic - Lilo & Stitch just so happens to be my favorite movie.
Another wonderful trait of Kaiya is that she is extremely clumsy. She falls, trips, bashes her head, scars her legs, bruises her face and the latest talent was she some how managed to chip her front left tooth. Yesterday I saw her in a satnding position and literally, without any reason or cause she just fell over... ya, just like that... because you know humans do that all the time... fall over from a standing position for no apparent reason (I ruled out being inebriated at this stage). How wonderfully red neck of my child to be sportin' a chipped tooth. She has officially graduated from "Smallish Bear" to "Snaggletooth."
Mother's Day is approaching this Sunday and it dawned on me that I never blogged about Miss Kaiya (because we all know the second child get's screwed from an attention point of view). After I finally wrestled her into bed I figured I would unleash "Hulk Smash" onto the Blog world, if only at least once. I mean, my golden child Tai did have an entire year so this was the least I could do (plus it will keep the impending therapy bills down). As my enlightened friend Audrey responded:
H-Dawg – I think from the sounds of things, my little Vietnamese terrorist Mommy, that the Kaiya apple does not fall far from the tree. Which means that I will love, admire and respect her very much.
Well said Audrey... that'll do.
Kaiya Elaine Mansoncame screaming into the world on July 9, 2010. She was my fantasy newborn. Unlike Tai, she slept beautifully, ate effortlessly, passed gas like a seasoned pro and she had the unbelievable magic of engaging you into her happy world. When you cuddle her, she cooed. When you sang to her, she googled at you with her big (for a half Asian) brown eyes and smiled. When you talked to her, she babbled confidently back like she understood everything. I was truly in love and she melted everyone's heart that she batted her eyelashes at. She was the complete opposite of Tai.
Then something happened around the three month mark. Kaiya hit the milestones with record breaking speed. Her growth charts were literally off the grid (As in she was so fat and tall that she wasn't even on the charts). Tai was a chubby baby but Kaiya had so much girth and robusto on her that she made the Michelin Man look like he was on Jenny Craig. When I told my friends that she was a wee tad on the "big girl" side they would just roll their eyes assuming I was exaggerating the issue. When they finally met the little Manson heifer they soon realized why she earned the nicknames of "Beebee Hippo" and "Smallish Bear." Clearly the Asian genes were in retreat during this stage. I think this is when our sweet Kaiya blossomed into a raging... um... Hulk Smash.
Kaiya clearly showed a disregard to rules, routines, manners, and well you know... anything that could possibly make my life easier. Miss Beebee is definitely the grand opposite of Tai. Ying and Yang, Darth Vader and Luke, Miss Piggy and Kermit... you know the classic pairing. Tai is truly his father's son when it comes to temperment. He is extremely cautious, doesn't like change, is very intense and emotional and timidly approaches the world like it's going to explode on him. Kaiya is fearless (or stupid only time will tell), either insanely happy or just mad, loathes being restricted to social norms and lives life precariously on the edge. I knew Karma would one day bite me in the ass, I was just never prepared for it to be named Kaiya.
My girlfriend Audrey is a cancer warrior and battling the bitch with grace and humor. This morning she posted on her blog: http://notthedestinationbut.wordpress.com/2012/05/10/nice-girl-not-too-bright/. As always, she debates the gifts of cancer and offers a vulnerable look at her often dark and lonely road. Through her talented writing she reminds me everyday to appreciate my blessings and to stay in the moment. Today she brought up the topic of grandchildren so I offered up an opportunity to nanny Kaiya:
I am always here for you so I will unselfishly allow you to be my personal Nanny of my brood. No, no, no… it’s really not a problem at all. Feel free to chase Kaiya around while she is screaming bloody murder because she feels clothing restricts her from experiencing everything life has to offer. She also enjoys peeling off her diapers and peeing in the public eye – because let’s face it, doing it privately is so 24 hours ago. Attempt to convince her that one sits to eat is like wrestling a crack-out alligator. And forget about using words and proper manners, screeching to the point of alarming all canines within a 200 kilometer radius is a way more effective form of communication. Like I said, I am a sharing kind of gal.
Her hilarious response:
H-Dawg – You give and you give and you give! Such a wee martyr you are, my beloved friend.
Okay, here is the deal….I will take on Ms Kaiya (who I can’t wait to meet, by the way) as long as she understands the following:
1) I do not climb trees in my bare feet in order to hang a swing
2) Nudity is fine if and only if, you declare it as streaking, and that you are making a political statement by doing so
3) Peeing in public is permissible only in front of those who have pissed you off
4) Sitting to eat causes a person to relax. That could potentially lead to a lack of sense of purpose. The girl wins this one.
5) Manners, schmanners. Overrated! Again, this one goes to Ms Kaiya.
Love and hugs to you and your wild child xoxoxo
Now this is where the science experiment of parenting really gets interesting. When Tai was born I had one glorious year of maternity leave. I read all the books, studied up on all the latest research and agonized over every parenting decision. I did imprint myself heavily on Tai so despite his "nature" he has been "nurtured" and has grown into a sensitive, beautifully polite, methodical thinker that communicates and processes information well beyond an average 5 year old. He is also extremely confident (to the point that's it's almost cocky), has no problem approaching complete strangers to talk their ear off and will negotiate his way to Timbuck to if he's allowed.
When Kaiya was born I had 2 very short months with her and it was back to work for me since being an entrepreneur meant there was no such thing as maternity pay. Chris became the nurturer and since he prefers parenting more organically, Kaiya's behavior amplified into... um... a Tazmanian Devil. No word of a lie, that is her energy level. She even scares her Nona who normally isn't scared of anybody after raising 5 boys. As a baby, she never became attached to any of the normal soothing props. She spitefully spat out the soothers, aggressively kicked off all her blankets, shrieked like a Banshee at the mobiles, and delightfully sacrificed all plush toys to Penny to chew on. Ironically, just recently she has been attached to this giant Stitch doll. If you ever watch Lilo and Stitch, Kaiya embodies both spirits so seeing her drag around a blue Stitch half the size of her is hilariously poetic - Lilo & Stitch just so happens to be my favorite movie.
Another wonderful trait of Kaiya is that she is extremely clumsy. She falls, trips, bashes her head, scars her legs, bruises her face and the latest talent was she some how managed to chip her front left tooth. Yesterday I saw her in a satnding position and literally, without any reason or cause she just fell over... ya, just like that... because you know humans do that all the time... fall over from a standing position for no apparent reason (I ruled out being inebriated at this stage). How wonderfully red neck of my child to be sportin' a chipped tooth. She has officially graduated from "Smallish Bear" to "Snaggletooth."
Mother's Day is approaching this Sunday and it dawned on me that I never blogged about Miss Kaiya (because we all know the second child get's screwed from an attention point of view). After I finally wrestled her into bed I figured I would unleash "Hulk Smash" onto the Blog world, if only at least once. I mean, my golden child Tai did have an entire year so this was the least I could do (plus it will keep the impending therapy bills down). As my enlightened friend Audrey responded:
H-Dawg – I think from the sounds of things, my little Vietnamese terrorist Mommy, that the Kaiya apple does not fall far from the tree. Which means that I will love, admire and respect her very much.
Well said Audrey... that'll do.
The Devil Wears Prada
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