It has just occurred to me that the majority of my suffering has been a result of your limiting views on my infinite possibilities. You are like that nasty plaque that builds up over time and then one day you suddenly wake up and your mouth is burning a tormenting fire. Over time you have manipulatively rotted away at the tooth so the only resolution of being freed from the pain is to yank out the damn thing and be okay with your dentist presenting you with a thousand dollar bill. Here's your official eviction notice - Get the eff out.
With Much Love and Light, The Heart
I have been reading a lot. Sometimes it's fun and brainless like Facebook news feeds. Most times I'm studying esoteric dialogues. You know, the kind that uses phrases like: The Ego mind wants what it wants when it wants it and Applying action to attaining gives energy to the belief in lack - this always decreases the likelihood of experiencing what you desire. I know, why the hell do people write shit like this if their goal is to reach the masses? I like to think I am an educated person and most of the time the words from these Ascended Masters or spiritual teachers are totally lost on me. I would read what appears to be a simple phrase a couple of times and depending if the stars are in perfect alignment with the phi ratio of my 3rd toe multiplied with the Pleidians Thoth of my bra size back in junior high I may be able to comprehend that the Flower Of Life is actually a drawing that freakily resembles that Spirograph one I made in Kindergarten (Yes I am dating myself and yes, I am a child of the 80's). There should be a warning label on Spiritual reading material: Choking hazard. Use only for decorative purposes. Recommended age: 5th dimension ascended souls and higher.
Have you ever played with a Rubix cube? If you are a child of the "Entitlement Generation" it's the 80's version of the iPhone. Every cool kid had one. I was a cool kid, but poor; so although my parents couldn't afford to buy me one, I was clever enough to trick... er... I mean suggest to another kid to lend me his indefinitely for safe keeping. Anyways, my current situation feels like that damn Rubix cube. All my color blocks are all jumbled and as much as I strategize, plan, re-analyze, de-construct, re-construct, contemplate and ponder, nothing is aligning. When I was younger I got extremely frustrated from "playing" with that damn block from rainbow hell. I spent weeks spewing forth verbal diarrhea, offering up death threats and finally in a single moment of insanity I actually took my bike and ran it over with the same zest as a bat out of hell. My mad bike riding skills obliterated the once perfect square form into its teeny little pieces. I cackled maniacally at my destructive triumph but in that pivotal moment of negative release the dark clouds parted and clarity dawned. What appeared to be a mangled pile of rainbow poo was actually a perfect opportunity. I quickly scrambled off my chariot... umm... I mean bike with training wheels, and re-assembled it into a perfect Rubix cube! Now granted, this probably is not how it was intended to be resolved but it worked for me. Later on it donned on me that I could just peel all the effin stickers off which was a less messy option than beating it down with my bike.
My lesson learned at the age of five was that if I just let things go, for example like smashing my Rubix cube into little pieces, I was no longer in agony. Once I let go of my quest to prove that I was smart enough to solve a difficult problem, my pain dissipated like a Tums tablet into water. Poof... I was instantly transported back to Contentment Land. The spiritual teachers would define this concept as attachment. To ease one's suffering you need to let go of your attachments. So I am aiming a nuclear war head at the following Rubix Cubes:
1) My massive Ego.
2) My douche bag Ego.
3) My cancer Ego.
Wish me luck. If you know me, you should also lovingly recognize that my Ego supersedes my even louder Asian voice. On most days, my Ego needs a tarmac the size of those giant, Titanic, double decker Boeing planes to land. When I was younger I had the emotional resiliency to ride the highs of "I'm-super-duper-freakin'-fantastic" to the dips of "Gawd-please-stab-me-in-the-eye-with-burning-sticks" of life. I suspect I am getting old because I just want to find the Lazy Boy chair and sit in the ohm of Contentment. Drama no longer excites me because the reality is, after birthing two giant babies laughing too hard means I have to change my underwear. Hell... sneezing causes biological leakages that are no longer contained to the nasal cavities. Its definitely a daunting task and not one for the weak hearted... or sober for that matter.
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